Yooo Haaa

Congressional Stupidity through the eyes of a Travel Agent ?

2011-12-30T09:47:00.000-05:00

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel agent with 30 years experience. Should we be worried?

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... (click).

A Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!"

I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife from Mississippi who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

An Alabama lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude." After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I actually was laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them

A Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!!"

A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China several times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal", she admitted

Rick Perry Facts .. a bit on the Farcical Side

2011-11-06T21:48:00.000-05:00

Facts about the AMAZING Rick Perry

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just women who have not met Rick Perry.

Fact: Rick Perry's tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, he's never cried.

Rick Perry's cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.

Rick Perry's organ donation card, also lists his hair.

4 out of 5 doctors recommend Rick Perry. Also, in totally unrelated news, 20% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Rick Perry heads outside and brands his cattle.

Rick Perry has never lost a sock. Ever.

There is no "Control" button on Rick Perry's computer. Rick Perry is always in control.

When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Rick Perry is never, ever the rotten egg.

Rick Perry came and he gave without taking. But you pushed him away. Oh, Mandy.

When Rick Perry was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Lesson learned. Never slap Rick Perry.

Aliens DO exist. It's just that they know better than to visit a planet Rick Perry inhabits.

Rick Perry lives vicariously through himself.

Rick Perry once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now referred to simply as "the islands"

When Rick Perry opens a pack of Twix, there are three.

As a boy, Rick Perry interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the precise location and contents of each hidden egg.

Rick Perry has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Rick Perry really likes the movie 101 Dalmatians. No one knows why.

Some kids urinate their names in the snow. Rick Perry can urinate his name into concrete. He just chooses not to.

Rick Perry does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Rick Perry did all the make-up on the Planet of the Apes movies.

Rick Perry understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Rick Perry ghostwrites all the articles for Garden & Gun magazine

Rick Perry was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us who have to fight for it

Rick Perry impaled over 40 horses to make what he calls "an authentic" Merry-Go-Round.

Rick Perry's blood type is WD-40

Rick Perry can peel potatoes with his eyelids.

Rick Perry shoots dangerous wild animals on his jogs.

On his birthday, Rick Perry randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Rick Perry just saved a kitten from a tree while Jon Huntsman was talking

Time slows down whenever Rick Perry speaks

AT&T does not drop Rick Perry's Cell Calls

Perry's car once ran out of gas. After pistol whipping it for 10 min it started back up. He's never had to fill it up since

Rick Perry gargles with a mixture of turpentine, coffee, and crude oil.

Daily F (Financial ) Occupy Wall Street Edition and Best Jobs too

2011-10-13T22:33:00.000-04:00

Occupy Wall Street is more popular than you think.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20120052-503544.html

Why are they so angry ? Take a look at all the reasons why...LOTS of them
http://www.businessinsider.com/what-wall-street-protesters-are-so-angry-about-2011-10?op=1

YOUR DEAD IPHONE IS A GOLD MINE-LITERALLY
http://money.cnn.com/2011/10/13/technology/iphone_trade_in/index.htm?source=cnn_bin&hpt=hp_bn5

But what happens to your trade-in once you ship it to Gazelle, ReCellular, NextWorth, Amazon Trade-In, or any of the other recommerce sites out there?
First, cell phones are inspected for wear and tear and to see whether they still work. Damaged phones are assessed for salvageability.
All phones then go through a memory wipe. Each trade-in company said it wipes memory in two steps to ensure data is erased from the phone. If the phone doesn't work, the companies will physically destroy its memory.

expeditions
BUFFET BUILDS TAX THE RICH CASE
http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/113663/buffett-builds-tax-rich-case-wsj?mod=bb-budgeting&sec=topStories&pos=3&asset=&ccode=

Mr. Buffett long has urged lawmakers to raise income-tax rates on the wealthiest, arguing that his secretary paid a higher effective rate than he did last year. President Obama embraced the concept, and went along with Senate Democrats' proposal for a 5.6% surtax on those making $1 million a year or more.
Mr. Buffett's adjusted gross income was $62,855,038 in 2010, according to the letter, while his taxable income was $39,814,784. He said he paid $15,300 in payroll tax, and $6,923,494 in federal income tax. That made for an effective tax rate of 17.4%.

Now Is a Good Time to Buy a Car: Edmunds CEO
http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-ticker/now-good-time-buy-car-edmunds-ceo-143624243.html
But, if you're in the market for a car, Anwyl says, now is probably a good time to buy. The automakers are finally bringing their 2012 designs to market, after delays (again because of distributions caused by the Japan earthquake), and that means more incentives and better prices. "This month and then the next window of opportunity would be right after Christmas and all the way through the new year."

Best Jobs if You're Over 50
CNN MONEY
http://finance.yahoo.com/focus-retirement/article/113650/best-jobs-if-youre-50-cnnmoney?mod=fidelity-changingjobs&cat=fidelity_2010_changing_jobs

The job skills you honed over a lifetime may transfer, but as an older job hunter you need to work harder to prove your skills are up to date. Digital know-how and social media experience, for example, are essential in the nonprofit world, says Bleiberg.

What You Need In A Financial Survival Kit
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/What-You-Need-In-A-Financial-investopedia-1750932932.html?x=0

Financial experts such as the members of the American Institute of CPAs recommend having a personal financial kit that is easily carried in the event of an emergency. These experts suggest all original documents be kept in either a fire-proof safe in your home, or preferably, in a safety deposit box at a bank away from your residence. If a natural disaster strikes your neighborhood, it could also strike the local bank leaving you without a resource for those documents or cash. The average cost of a safe-deposit box is $30-$50 per year.

If an emergency is imminent, you will want a basic kit that you can easily carry with you after a disaster. If your home is destroyed, this kit should have copies of all the basic information you'll need. This "kit" can be a sealable plastic bag, or a small plastic storage container that you can easily "grab-and-run" with. There are many documents you will need to help you recover after a disaster strikes, most should be kept in the fire-proof safe or safe deposit box. This basic kit should consist of essential documents to take care of your basic needs.
A copy of your driver's license or state identification
Copies of your credit cards and bank account information
Copies of current prescriptions, including eyeglasses, and any medical histories that EMS and medical personnel would need to know - allergies, asthma, heart meds, diabetic condition, etc.
List of your emergency contacts - family members, doctors, insurance agents, financial advisors
Insurance cards, policy numbers and agents contact information - Life, health, homeowner, auto, renters
Safe deposit box information - name of financial institution, list of the contents and the key
Copies of any living wills, power of attorney or medical power of attorney
Enough cash for living expenses for three days for your entire family
Prepaid phone cards, cell phone charger

Mad at Bank Of America Citi Bank Wells Fargo & Suntrust

2011-10-12T16:41:00.000-04:00

Just some of the quotes and what's being said about charging for debit cards and raising rates or now charging for what had previously been free checking. People, find a new bank. Stay away from the national banks who took government hand outs to pay their executive bonus. Let them know you won't take it anymore by closing your account and finding a local community bank.

THE STREET
WILL YOU LEAVE BANK OF AMERICA OVER THE DEBIT CARD FEE

Bank of America is not the first to charge this fee. Other banks have also tried to find new ways to offset the revenue loss. Wells Fargo is testing a monthly fee of $3 in select markets for debit card purchases. JPMorgan Chase is test marketing a fee as well.

...the idea that Bank of America would charge customers as much as $60 a year for using debit cards to buy groceries had some of TheStreet's readers hopping mad. "I've been a customer of BAC since it was C&S, way back in 1991. I think my loyalty has finally run out," one reader wrote.

CHARLOTTESVILLE DAILY PROGRESS
"LOCAL BANKS SEE BOOST FROM CUSTOMERS FLEEING FEES"

http://www2.dailyprogress.com/business/2011/oct/09/local-banks-see-boost-customers-fleeing-fees-ar-1371513/

"The second they start charging me a fee I didn't sign on for, I'm closing my account and moving all my money"

FORBES-
CUSTOMERS ARE MAD AT BANK FEES

http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2011/10/07/personal-finance-financials-us-turning-to-credit-unions_8723274.html

Whenever a big bank rolls out a controversial fee, customers start fuming about taking their business elsewhere

CNN MONEY
I DITCHED MY BIG BANK

BOA CHIEF -"WE HAVE A RIGHT TO MAKE A PROFIT"
http://money.cnn.com/2011/10/11/pf/bank_fees_switch/

"I dropped Bank of America like a hot potato," said Tim O'Brien a partner in a Seattle-based television advertising agency. "I felt like I was getting nickel and dimed."

PERKSTREET BLOG
MAD AT BOA AND CITI
http://blog.perkstreet.com/im-mad-about-bank-of-america-and-citibanks-new-fees-perkstreets-coo-spouts-off/

Aren't the Big Banks afraid of the customer backlash, the potential of rioting and angry tweets and Facebook posts?

Jon Gruden nooo...Ron Jaworsky MNF Cuss and Curse S Bomb

2011-09-12T22:53:00.003-04:00

Jon Gruden . nope ...turns out to be Jaws on ESPN MOnday Night Football says "shit" as casually as can be. The former Eagles QB way before anyone heard of Vick says you really have GOT to get rid of the ball. Shit, I think we all agree right ?

Amy Winehouse -The Past is lost, and so is the future

2011-07-23T13:55:00.002-04:00

At approximately 4:00 pm local time (BST, UTC+1) on 23 July 2011, two ambulances were called to Winehouse's home in Camden, London. Shortly afterwards, the Metropolitan Police confirmed her death. There is currently an open investigation to determine the cause of death. The current cause of death is described by police as "unexplained". Winehouse had a longstanding drink and drugs problem. She gave up on life at such an early age of 27. She won grammy's, was considerend incredibily talented, exotic, and beautiful. Many are asking why, how, and some of those should be the people closest to her. Music has lost someone who made our lives easier to listen to and helped us look musically a bit into the past ...but music has also lost much of its future in the passing of Amy Winehouse.

Clarence Clemons - Goodbye and Goodbye E Street Band

2011-06-19T09:20:00.001-04:00

Bruce Springsteen at his Rock HOF admission in 1999: "You wanna be like him, but you can't. The night I met Clarence, he got up on stage; a sound came out of his horn that seemed to rattle the glasses behind the bar, and threatened to blow out the back wall. The door literally blew off the club in a storm that night,. But there was something else. Something happened when we stood side by side; some energy, some unspoken story

“….For 15 years, Clarence has been a source of myth, and light, and enormous strength for me onstage. He has filled my heart so many nights, so many nights. And I love it when he wraps me in his arms at the end of the night. That night when we first stood together, I looked over at C., and it looked like his head reached into the clouds, and I felt like a mere mortal, scurrying upon the earth. But he always lifted me up - way, way, way up. Together we told a story of the possibilities of friendship; a story older than the ones that I was writing, and a story that I could never have told without him at my side. I want to thank you, Big Man - I love you so much.”

That was what Bruce said in 1999 being inducted to the Rock Hall Of Fame. ...now if thethe "15 years" he mentions seems short, it was Bruce honestly taking in to account the years Bruce played with someone else...and I can tell you from seeing those "F Street Band" performances as they were called, it felt VERY empty when a song came up that needed Clarence on Sax ...was not the same without him, as the music world never will be without him today. I've seen Bruce a dozen times ---first time in 1975 at Burruss Hall in Blacksburg for $4.50. and the arena was always electric when Clarence stepped into the spotlight. I also had one of the times of my life when "Clarence Clemons and the Red Bank Rockers" played to about 300 faithful during a huge ice storm at Radford University until the wee hours of the morning in the early 80's . Somehow, those of us who saw the band the past few years had to realize we were seeing the end of something . At the end of the shows, with the crowd prompted by the screens, we all hailed
The E Street Band!

The E Street Band!

The heart-stopping, pants-dropping, house-rocking, earth-shaking, booty-quaking, Viagra-taking, love-making -

Le-gen-dary E - Street - Band!

Guess you know I will miss him.

TEN FACTS ABOUT CASEY WESTON OF THE VOICE

2011-06-14T22:46:00.000-04:00

10 FACTS ABOUT CASEY WESTON OF THE VOICE
1-NAPLES FLORIDA NATIVE
2-PARENTS WERE BOTH PRO VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS
3-ON THE ADAM LEVINE'S TEAM ON NBC THE VOICE
4-HER TWITTER IS @CASEY_WESTON
5-STARTED PLAYING GUITAR IN MIDDLE SCHOOL
6-HER SELF TITLED EP WAS RELEASED IN 2009 AND IS AVAILABLE FROM HER WEBSITE
7-SHE HAS OPENED FOR CRAIG MORGAN AND JAMES OTTO (JIM OTTO WAS A CENTER FOR THE OAKLAND RAIDERS MANY YEARS AGO KNOWN FOR WEARING THE JERSEY NUMBER 00....BUT NOT THAT JIM OTTO)
8-ONE OF HER NAPLES PERFORMING HAVENS IS CALLED SOUTH STREET CITY OVEN
9-SHE JUST GRADUATED FROM GULF COAST HIGH SCHOOL
10-SHE STATES THAT SHE HOPES TO MAKE IT TO THE GRAND OLE OPRY

Google Doodle honoring Les Paul on June 9th is best ever

2011-06-09T00:06:00.000-04:00

Everyone loves the GOogle Doodle...the way they take the logo and make it into a drawing on occasion to honor a someone or a something or a such and such. For June 9th 2009, the google doodle is the BEST EVER and honors Les Paul. It is a WORKING guitar prestrung so you cant sound badly. Practice up and hit the button on the right side and it RECORDS your masterpiece, as Les is not only known for his guitar work but for innovating recording as we know it today.

Rock On Les Paul and THANKS GOOGLE

Ten Facts About Danni Shay - The Beiber Look Alike from AGT

2011-06-08T23:07:00.000-04:00

From YoooHaaa.com the site thats a little bit about everything

Ten Facts about Dani Shay --the oustanding Justin Bieber Look Alike from Americas Got Talent

1- She premiered on the Houston auditions show May 8th 2011 on NBC Americas Got Talent where she got three Yes's from Judges Pierce Morgan, Howie Mandel and Sharon Osborne. and is going to Vegas.
2-Her music is published and auditioned at her myspace page http://www.myspace.com/danishay
3-Her Bieber Parody is called "What the Hell," and is a take off on Baby Baby Baby by Justin Bieber. It's on YOUTUBE at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ru84WuSfpQ
4-She hopes to meet Bieber on the Ellen Show
5-She has been writing music since at least 2006, more seriously since 2008.
6-Her great line as seen on AGT was "No Justin Beiber looks like ME"
7-She is also known on the interenet for covering Love The Way You Lie by Enimem
8- Her Twitter is @dannishay
9-Her official website is http://danishay.com/
10-Her download only album is called "Rise From The Dead"

Water For Elephants Sex Scene ..SNOT or Beautiful Tears

2011-04-19T10:54:00.000-04:00

First Reese Witherspoon said of Robert Pattinson and hers love scene in the new movie Water For Elephants that it was NOT a pleasant scene to film. She has said of how hot the scen is "I mean, sexy doesn't cover it. I don't know how we got this rating, that's all I'm gonna say," But in another interview, with In Touch magazine, she said "Rob possibly had the most hideous horrible cold of any co-star I've ever had to do a love scene with ever in my entire life. He was literally snorting and snotting through every second of it - and it was not appealing. I'm talking green, infectious, disgusting - I'm not kidding!"

Now, the woman who greatly played and sang June Carter Cash to an Oscar now says the comment about how gross it is to make out with the man who is always, as Jimmy Fallon portrays, BOTHERED, has recanted to back up his story that he was just crying because Reese was so beautiful in the scene.

Yep..thats believable.

Erika Davies is the voice of Suburu Outback Commercial

2011-04-13T08:47:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when you hear greatness for the first time you just know it. Off the speakers of the HDTV this morning came the new Suburu Outback commercial with the lyrics "I love you I do " and of course, the search for WHO IS that amazing voice and that sometimes is combined with the ever so continuously and surprisingly popular ukulele, but on this track just a gut string six string. Erika Davies is the voice and the song is going to pop from beyond the commercial. Kudo's to Suburu for finding this unique voice and finding a new fan in me. The old fashioned 1940's quality and a tremendous range combined with perfect pitch. Check out other songs like Dream a Little Dream, Robot Girl, and Captured My Heart at her Myspace.
http://www.myspace.com/erika/music/playlists/i-love-you-i-do-1492824

Rebecca Black Friday is pulled from Youtube

2011-03-29T20:36:00.000-04:00

Well here is some breaking news for you...Rebecca Black's "Friday" video has been pulled from You Tube as of 7pm 03-29-2011. Oh the humanity. "Love it or hate it — and chances are, you hate it “Friday” had racked up an impressive 64 million views. It had racked up around 1.189 million dislikes; Justin Bieber’s “Baby,” its nearest competitor for the dubious honor of “most hated video,” has only 1.162 million dislikes."

Happy States and West Virginia --not so muchd

2011-03-08T08:08:00.000-05:00

Hawaii is the happiest state. Duh. I think I'd be happier in Hawaii. I know I have been to West Virgninia and those folks didn't look so happy ..and the survey shows it...the unhappiest state is West Virginia. Here is the complete ranking of happiest states for 2011.

1.     Hawaii: 71.0
2.     Wyoming: 69.2
3.     North Dakota: 68.4
4.     Alaska: 68.3
5.     Colorado: 68.0
6.     Minnesota: 68.0
7.     South Dakota: 68.0
8.     Utah: 67.9
9.     Connecticut: 67.9
10. Massachusetts: 67.8
11. Nebraska: 67.8
12. Maryland: 67.5
13. Washington: 67.5
14. Montana: 67.3
15. Kansas: 67.2
16. New Hampshire: 67.2
17. Vermont: 67.1
18. California: 67.0
19. Iowa: 66.9
20. Idaho: 66.9
21. New Mexico: 66.7
22. Virginia: 66.7
23. Wisconsin: 66.7
24. New Jersey: 66.6
25. Maine: 66.4
26. Illinois: 66.3
27. Oregon: 66.3
28. Texas: 66.3
29. Arizona: 66.2
30. Pennsylvania: 66.1
31. Georgia: 66.1
32. New York: 65.9
33. Rhode Island: 65.7
34. Missouri: 65.6
35. South Carolina: 65.3
36. North Carolina: 65.1
37. Florida: 65.1
38. Oklahoma: 64.9
39. Indiana: 64.8
40. Tennessee: 64.8
41. Michigan: 64.6
42. Louisiana: 64.3
43. Delaware: 64.2
44. Nevada: 64.2
45. Ohio: 63.8
46. Alabama: 63.7
47. Arkansas: 63.7
48. Mississippi: 63.0
49. Kentucky: 61.9
50. West Virginia: 61.7

Spotlight on Gerry Goffin and Carole King

2011-02-22T21:21:00.001-05:00

Gerry Goffin is a Brooklyn songwriter who was born in 2939 and was married to Carole King, and has written 8 number one singles including his breakthrough hit, Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow off of Tapestry which was on the Billboard LP chart forever (more than six straight years...seriously) and was the top selling solo album of all time until Michael Jacksons Thriller. He is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and was referenced on GLEE in the Feb 22 episode on Fox .

Carole King has written or co-written 118 pop hits.Tapestry was rated number 36 on Rolling Stones all time top albums list.

Wizard of Oz References - The Movie

2011-02-22T13:31:00.001-05:00

Wizard of Oz References ...you get one everyday.

Have you ever been watching a sports report and, perhaps the team you follow has lost a game, but now has a home game, and the sports reporter says "ahhh but there's no place like home," or thats the headline in the sports page the next day. How MANY times have you been reading abut something, or watching a movie or TV show, or heard on a radio commercial "We're not in Kansas anymore," when someone wants to describe a situation thats not normal. How many times has someone lacking in size or a baby been playfully referred to as a "munchkin." Some of these are used so often its easy to see why the most used pop culture reference is The Wizard of Oz, and others blow past you a little less noticable. Here is the ever growing list of things you can look for so you too can realize that if you have daily contact with media including but not limited to TV, newspaper, radio, magazines, advertising, internet and more, you get a daily Wizard of Oz reference.

Now here's the video

Ten Facts about Brooklyn Decker

2011-02-10T22:25:00.000-05:00

YoooHaaa Presents:
TEN FACTS ABOUT BROOKLYN DECKER
1-Married to Tennis Player Andy Roddick

2-She has been in TV shows like Chuck, Ugly Betty, and Royal Pains

3-Born April 12, 1987 in Kettering Ohio

4-Her first Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition was in 2006

5- As a kid she also lived in Middleton Ohio and Charlotte North Carolina

6-Her movie roles include Battleship and Just Go With It with Adam Sandler

7-In Self Magazine she admited an eating disorder, stating "My father did an intervention and got me to stop obsessing about everyone else and wrecking my body."

8-Her measurments are 36C-24-34 with blonde hair and blue eyes

9-Has appeared in magazines such as Teen Vogue, FHM, Glamour and Cosmopolitan, and in campaigns for the Gap, Victoria's Secret and J.C. Penney

10-She was discovered in a Charlotte shopping mall when she was a teenager.

Ralph Kiser on Survivor Redemption Island is the Good Ol Boy with a Fan Page

2011-02-10T18:17:00.001-05:00

Yooohaaa now has the
THE UNOFFICIAL RALPH KISER CBS SURVIVOR FAN PAGE
Link to it here.

Ralph is the good ol boy from Virginia who is going up against Boston Rob and Russell in Survivor, Redemption Island. Here is the place to stay updated on his progress in the game and to join in on the discussion of his moves in the game, good or bad. Will he outwit and outplay the cast, or be outcast?

“I applied three times out of four years and they interviewed me all three times. There’s something they like.”

“I will be the king at camp because I can build shelter, cook, find food and be the leader,” Kiser said, according to the CBS questionnaire.

“I know plants, trees and what most of their uses are,” he says. “I can also build anything; start a fire anywhere and make people believe anything I say!”

"No vehicle payments, no mortgage payments, plus I own two homes on the same farm." Ralph Kiser's inspiration in life? "I'm inspired by my farm; I've been at it all my life. I'm always amazed at my animals—how they grow and survive. Being able to watch the circle of life go 'round and be a part of it is a very satisfying adventure that I never get tired of."
WHERE THE HECK IS LEBANON VIRGINIA
In the deep southwestern corner of the Old Dominion, in Russel County, Lebanon has a population of a little more than 3000.

PREVIOUS FAME
Ralph was on an adventure show with teammate Ronnie Smith and placed second on Back to the Woods. That show was filmed in Washington, Smyth and Grayson counties in the summer of 2009. It aired first online, and then on CW4-TV. The show combined physical challenges and puzzle challenges much as Survivor does.
Name (Age): Ralph Kiser (45)
Tribe Designation: Zapatera

Current Residence: Lebanon, Va.
Occupation: Farmer
Personal Claim to Fame: Being completely debt-free at age 44. No vehicle payments, no mortgage payments, plus I own two homes on the same farm.
Inspiration in Life: I'm inspired by my farm; I've been at it all my life. I'm always amazed at my animals - how they grow and survive. Being able to watch the circle of life go 'round and be a part of it is a very satisfying adventure that I never get tired of.
Hobbies: Hunting, hiking and traveling.
Pet Peeves: People who are lazy and donÂ’t try to make anything of themselves.
3 Words to Describe You: Determined, strong-willed and stubborn
SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: I'm probably a combo of Big Tom and J.T.
Reason for being on SURVIVOR: I've wanted to be on the show for years and knew one day I'd get my chance. I want to be a hometown hero for the folks back home!
Why you think you'll "Survive" SURVIVOR: I'm an outdoors mountain man. I know plants, trees and what most of their uses are. I can also build anything; start a fire anywhere and make people believe anything I say!
Why you think you will be the sole SURVIVOR: I will be the king at camp because I can build shelter, cook, find food and be the leader.

When Pigs Fly or Float or ..whatever

2011-02-09T21:44:00.002-05:00

When 30 Thousand Pigs Fly ..er ...Float

If you were a reporter and someone called in a story that said 30 thousand pigs are floating by in the river, what would you do ? Well, the reporter for the Morning Bulletin went with the story and it made print ...and then of course it made a retraction and apology. It turns out, someone was really saying "30 sows and pigs" NOT 30 thousand pigs. The Morning Bulletin AND the Rural Weekly regret the error.

Here's The Click.

Ten (count em -10) Facts About Katy Perry

2011-02-09T19:39:00.000-05:00

1-Katy is currently 5'8" and 130 lbs but when she was a kid she weighed 145 lbs. She was so busty at that weight she wanted Breast Reduction, and told Elle Magazine "...and I had enormous boobs that I didn't know what to do with, so I wore minimizers, which were not cute. Those thick-ass straps! I got made fun of for the over-the-shoulder boulder holder...and all I wanted was to look like Kate Moss. Little did I know...that these things would come in handy someday."

2-Her real name is Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson and was born in Santa Barbara California October 25, 1984

3-Among Perry's musical influences are Alanis Morissette, Cyndi Lauper, Pat Benatar, Joan Jett, and Freddie Mercury of Queen.

4-She met british comedian Russell Brand in the summer of 2008 and married October 23rd in 2010.

5-Her television exploits include Sesame Street, American Idol, The Young and The Restless, The Simpsons, How I Met Your Mother, The X Factor, and in movies she is Smurfette in The Smurfs.

6-Her first single was not a hit, and though she skyrocketed to the top with the lesbian themed "I Kissed A Girl," her first single was entitled "Ur So Gay."

7-Perry's mother is apparently not very proud of her daughter, telling the British tabloid Daily Mail that her music is "Shameful and Disgusting."

8-Her parents are two devoted pastors who directed their daughter into singing in churches or local restaurants. Perry said that her mother used to ban her from listening to what they call "secular music".

9-"Have I ever kissed a girl? Of course I have. I can't sing a song and not have done it. That'd be complete hypocrisy. I fancy Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman and Angelina Jolie - I'd definitely kiss them."

10- Appeared in a commercial for "Proactiv Solution" acne skin care.

Prince tells Kardasian to "Get off the stage"

2011-02-08T23:50:00.000-05:00

So the greatest living guitarist, sans guitar, just dancin ...pulled Kim Kardasian on to his stage to boogie. She cant dance..cause frankly, she cant do anything...famous for nothing. Prince may have just been saying what America is thinking and has been for a very long time. "Get Off The Stage.

Here is the click.

You Get A Wizard Of Oz Reference Everyday

2011-02-05T23:19:00.000-05:00

The Wizard Of Oz References
"You get a Wizard Of Oz reference almost everyday of your life"
If you read a magazine, check out a newspaper, watch some tv, go for a drive and hear the radio or notice a billboard ad, rent a movie, or just enjoy a random conversation, you get a Wizard of Oz reference every day of your life ..well almost ..and I am willing to be for every day you don't, you get a few to make up for it another day. They come up all the time in oh so many ways.
Any of these and more "count"

...over the rainbow
somewhere over the rainbow ..the words spoken or the music played
munchkin ..such as a small person referred to as a munchkin ...used often in sports analogies
and your little dog too
and to-to too ?
we're not in kansas anymore
auntie em
tin man / cowardly lion / scarecrow used in context of someone without a brain
the recognizable music for miss gulch (when she is on the bike)
wicked witch
are you a good witch or a bad witch
horse of a different color
no place like home
red slippers / ruby slippers
the witch is dead ...or even an hanging "ding dong" is a reference in certain contexts
come out come out wherever you are
the lollipop guild / the lullabye league
"when life drops a house on you" reference
any green faced witch
I'm melting
my preeeetttttyyyyy
emerald city
it's always best to start at the beginning
people come and go so quickly here
If I only had a brain / a heart / some nerve
Lions and Tigers and Bears
...and what would you do with a brain if you had one?
because of the wonderful things he does
paaaaahhhhpies (poppies)
Surrender Dorothy (or surrender __ written in the sky in that context)
well bust my buttons
man behind the curtain
a place like oz/ land of oz /
I am the great and powerful oz
Witch Theme "the old one"
most references to flying monkees
many judy garland references in context
references to spin off movies such as "the wiz" or the miniseries "tin man"
Wicked (the play)
Ease on down the road

When republicans in the Virginia Legislature showed True Colors

2011-02-05T23:02:00.000-05:00

The Hypocrisy of the Virginia General Assembly

Lets get this straight> Republicans ..be they in Washington, or anywhere else, oppose what they call Obama Care because it is for their taste "socialism" and is unconstitutional because it requires one to be required to carry insurance. THEN , in an ultimate act of hypocrisy, are now requiring Virginia business owners to carry protection for autistic children in their company insurance. Hmmmmm can anyone say why this is different ? Once again, I say that the true way to get a national health insurance policy supported by the Republicans would be for Obama to oppose it, because even if something is right, and clearly makes sense, if Obama or other democrats are for it, Republicans must oppose it for some reason.

Seriously...a REPUBLICAN group of legislators MANDATED a health care covenant, while on a national level, opposes anything that resembles mandate as socialism. Really ? Really ? Seriously ?

Here is the Washington Post article.

The Lost Packers Chiefs Super Bowl I Video

2011-02-05T22:38:00.000-05:00

It is amazing to believe that Super Bowl one, which was covered by both NBC and CBS was not preserved by anyone. There is some NFL Films footage, but aside from that, neither network had saved a recording of the first Super Bowl (Otherwise known as the NFL AFL Championship Game) And back then, hard to believe I know, but in addition to not being able to pick up but three stations ...one of which you had to hold the rabbit ears just right to minimize the snow on the screen, NOBODY had a Video Recording Device.

So, now the Wall Street Journal says that someone had recorded the game and stored it in the attic. It needed to be restored, and now, perhaps, we might all get to actually see the game that started it all.
Here is the link for a great read.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704709304576124373773290508.html?mod=wsj_share_facebook

McBain, the movie ...a tribute to Arnold that is very funny

2011-02-03T22:00:00.000-05:00

McBain ..the video. Seriously ? Great editing job from someone who took the Simpsons Arnold Schwarzeenager alter ego appearing for so many years on the show and pieced together this masterpiece of irony and comedy.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Kristenb Schaal has a great funny rant on new abortion law considerations

2011-02-03T21:56:00.000-05:00

Funny, Poignant, Quirky

Kristen Schaal has some great appearances on the Daily Show and her latest rant on the "free abortion ride is over" is making the rounds on viral videos. She is funny, and yet her quirky nature lend weight to whatever credible points are being made. Rollin with the daily snow ..oops..the daily show.

Will Seacrest announce engagement on American Idol ?

2011-01-18T10:14:00.000-05:00

Julianne Hough, from ."Dancing With The Stars " has been going out with Ryan Seacrest for a long time. Now there are many rumors that he will propose. Will he announce their engagement on the premier of American Idol ? Speculation is that he already has the ring, so it would be the perfect time to do it.

10 facts about Rachel Weisz

2011-01-18T10:07:00.000-05:00

10 facts about Rachel Weisz10 facts about

1- Divorced her husband for Daniel Craig of James Bond fame
2-Born March 7 1970
3-Played Evy Carnahan-P'Connell in The Mummy & The Mummy Returns which also starred WWE Wrestling Star The Rock and Brendan Fraser
4-Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in The Constant Gardner in 2005
5-Born in Westminster, London, England
6-Will star as Libby Attenton in Dream House in 2011
7-Will Star as May in Unbound Captives in 2012
8-Attended Trinity Hall, Cambridge
9-Her sister Minnie is an artist
10-Was in Season 22 of the Simpsons -Episode How Munched is that Birdie In the Window as Dr. Thurston

Regis Philbin Announces Retirement

2011-01-18T09:21:00.002-05:00

Regis Philbin announces retirement today, June 18th 2011, saying "This is my last year on the show." He indicated that it would be late summer or fall before the end came, and no word on whether or not they will try to get a new Regis with Kelly. Regis Francis Xavier Philbin has been hosting talk and game shows since the 1950's. He is sometimes called the Hardest Working Man in Show Business. He is the Guinness world record holder for most time in front of a television camera. He went to Notre Dame and always talked of his love for the Fighting Irish on the show. Perhaps his biggest claim to fame was when the game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire enjoyed HUGE ratings in 1999. He was also the original of America's Got Talent before being replaced by Jerry Springer. Regis will be irreplaceable on American TV.

Dancing Penguins Happy Feet for Real

2010-12-29T20:02:00.000-05:00

I saw this viral video for just a few seconds on the NBC Nightly News and then I had a tough time finding it on Youtube when searching for " penguin dancing video like happy feet. " Eventually I found it on Huffington Post, but in case you were looking for it, here is the real life Happy Feet ...not Robin Williams but still pretty awesome.

NPR humor ...the tea party could be making pina coladas ?

2010-11-07T12:17:00.000-05:00

A little NPR humor:
While Obama is in India, the Indian security detail is removing all coconuts from trees around where he will be so one doesn’t fall out of a tree and hit him. One would think that that the chances are pretty low that this would happen, but one would also have thought the tea party would not do as much damage to him either …but speaking of nuts falling out of trees.

AMY AND TINA TOGETHER AGAIN ?>??

2010-09-07T23:09:00.000-04:00

Amy Poehler is going to host the first show of the 36th season of Saturday Night Live. She has done so much that was hilarious, but nothing funnier than when the first time she and Tina Fey did Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. Here is the transcript of that moment. What a great show SNL always is.

Wizard Of Oz Fun Fact

2010-07-18T10:30:00.001-04:00

Did you know?In the movie The Wizard Of Oz, Toto the dogs salary was $125 a week, while Judy Garland was $500 a week.

Mountain Man ...a group with No Men .. making beautiful, a capella music

2010-07-18T10:25:00.005-04:00

If you have been looking for a next big thing in Music, consider MOUNTAIN MAN. The debut CD is called "Made The Harbor" and their sound has been featured at Wilco's Solid Sound Festival. A group of women who met at Bennington College and found that the three of them had a mutual love of harmony. The only instrumentation you will hear is an occasional acoustic guitar. Watch out for Mountain Man, who will get as much buzz from their talent as their unusual name

Lady Gaga Talks Lupus, Eating & Smoking Habits

2010-05-25T09:30:00.001-04:00

Why does Lady Gaga collapse ? It is noted here in excerpt form and and the complete article can be found through the link below. Lady Gaga is admitting recreational drug use and many other things that are far from healthy. We lose the Michael Jackson 's and Elvis Presley 's of the world , and AFTER they are gone, someone says "somebody should have done something"

On her heart palpitations:
"It's just from fatigue and other things. I'm very connected to my aunt, Joanne, who died of lupus. It's a very personal thing. I don't want my fans to be worried about me."
On whether she's been tested for lupus, which is genetic:
"Yes." Pause. "But I don't want anyone to be worried."
On the last time she needed emergency services:
"The other day. In Tokyo. I was having trouble breathing. I had a little oxygen, then I went on stage. I was OK. But like I say, I don't want anyone to worry."

Lady Gaga Talks Lupus, Eating & Smoking Habits

A New Show To Watch Out For -My Generation on ABC

2010-05-18T23:52:00.000-04:00

Coming this Fall to ABC Thursdays
MY GENERATION
It's going to be a great show on Thursday nights where a documentary style will show is the then and now of a 10 year span from 2000 to 2010. ABC says on their facebook page ...
We’ve all lived through a lot in 10 years. ABC's new documentary style drama introduces you to 9 high school students in the year 2000 and revisits them as their lives are about to collide a decade later. Coming Thursdays this Fall to ABC.
"Just because you're not where you planned, doesn't mean you're not exactly where you need to be."

Michael Stahl David as Steven, Kelli Garner as Dawn, Jaime King as Jacqueline, Keir O’Donnell as Kenneth, Sebastian Sozzi as Falcon, Mechad Brooks as Rolly, Anne Son as Caroline, Daniella Alonso as Brenda and Julian Morris as Anders

The 11 Funniest Ladies In 'Saturday Night Live' History (PHOTOS)

2010-05-08T22:27:00.001-04:00

Tina Fey is the funniest woman ever on SNL, but there are contenders , and with Betty White hosting SNL this week, there are the classics, such as Jane Curtain to consider, or is your favorite Amy Poehler? Gilda was the greatest hands down, so forget what I said about Tina Fey up there...she just went to second. Kristen Wiig is proving herself season after season, and Maya Rudolph just rocks.
The 11 Funniest Ladies In 'Saturday Night Live' History (PHOTOS)

News Anchors Say The Darndest Things: The Funniest On-Air Gaffes And Obscenities Ever (VIDEO)

2010-05-03T22:40:00.000-04:00

News Anchors Say The Darndest Things: The Funniest On-Air Gaffes And Obscenities Ever (VIDEO)

And when the anchor throws it to the weatherman for a traffic update, enjoy the graphics unlike anything we ever saw on tv before or since. What does someone do on their last day on the job ?

Is the Groundhog ever right ?

2010-02-02T15:25:00.001-05:00

Scientific Proof that the groundhog is wrong exactly 50% of the time ...we could call it coin flip day and be as accurate.However, the Atlanta Journal says Phil has been right 4 of the last 5 years.

Jimmy Fallon Sends Up Glee in Hilarious Parody

2010-02-02T13:50:00.002-05:00

Psalm 2010 - The Reasonable American's Response

2010-01-31T10:43:00.000-05:00

This was sent to me in a mass forward, and the problem with it is that it perpetuates the blind dogma that both parties are guilty of and damages our country while stagnating our democracy. Inability to compromise on issues one is passionate about is an admirable thing when it is based upon true examination of the facts...and that examination has got to go beyond the Republican dogma of "If Obama said it, it must be wrong." The following email forward needs to be debated beyond that dogma. PLEASE combat the ignorance of those who wholeheartedly believe in this kind of crap by forwarding THIS to every reasonable American you know.

PSALM 2010
The Reasonable Americans Response

Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
But you say you love America, and one of the things about america you love is that it is a democracy ..and those who DID want him outnumbered you. Thats America and you get a chance to speak at the ballot box in 2012.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
The factories still because of 8 years of the ruin of our economy by Bush policies ...but it clearly makes you feel better if you can blame him for our countries problems. I am reminded of the tea party signees that portrayed Obama as Hitler ...Hitlers most powerful weapon was his propaganda of blatant lies. Blaming the economic woes on Obama is REPUBLICAN PROPAGANDA OF BLATANT LIES...SO, upon whose Republican face should a truth loving, nazi tactics hating american draw the Hitler mustache ?
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
I haven't heard of a Republican (save the first George Bush who was thrown out of office because of it) who ever lost faith that his or her way was the only way and that compromise was out of the question.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
The implication that a president or a party would gain politically from conitnued unemployment is proof of just how ignorant one who forwards this is. Absolutely ABSURD!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
The first bailouts of this crisis were imnitiated under the administration George W Bush
He has anointed my income with taxes,
Got nothing for you on that one ...all Americans pay taxes, and even democrats bitch about them, but those who bitch the most are the ones who get the most breaks.
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.

And this is Obama's fault ? The Economy has everyones expenses strained, and this began with the Bush administration. And your mortgage...Are you seriously saying that the President is responsible for the contract YOU signed with a bank ?

I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog .....
And Obama was a tree.

Very funny ..and my there be a strong wind that day blowing in your direction.

Grammy Prediction for Americana Album of the Year 2010

2010-01-30T13:51:00.000-05:00

Best Americana Album
Nominees: Bob Dylan's Together Through Life, Levon Helm's Electric Dirt, Willie Nelson and Asleep at the Wheel's Willie and the Wheel, Wilco's Wilco (The Album), Lucinda Williams' Little Honey

Yooo Haaa predicts that even though Wilco is the stronger music, Grammy likes to reward lifetime achievers...willie, bob dylan have received their due, but Levon Helm has not and for that reason, take a load off annie ...it goes to the former drummer for The Band, Levon Helm.

Prediction for your Grammy Pool - Best New Artist ? tough one

2010-01-30T13:48:00.000-05:00

Best New Artist
Nominees: Zac Brown Band, Silversun Pickups, Keri Hilson, MGMT, The Ting Tings

Hard to choose between ting tings and Keri Hilson ..if it all splits up, ZAC BROWN could win the Grammy in 2010. I'm going with Keri Hilson in an upset.

The Grammy Predictions 2010 - Best Rock Album shocker

2010-01-30T13:44:00.000-05:00

Best Rock Album
Nominees: AC/DC's Black Ice, Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood's Live From Madison Square Garden, Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown, Dave Matthews Band'sBig Whiskey and the GrooGrux King, U2's No Line on the Horizon

Believe it or not, Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood are going to shock everyone on this one. ...if not them, perhaps u2.

YoooHaaa Predicts Album of the year Grammy 2010

2010-01-30T13:40:00.001-05:00

YoooHAAA.com prediction for the Album of the Year Grammy?
Nominees: Beyoncé's I Am ... Sasha Fierce, Black Eyed Peas' The E.N.D., Lady Gaga's The Fame, Dave Matthews Band's Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King, Taylor Swift's Fearless

Gonna be a big night for TAYLOR SWIFT, with Beyonce as a close second. LOVE DMB but it doesn't have a chance.

Grammy Prediction for Record Of The Year

2010-01-30T13:37:00.000-05:00

Who Will Win the Grammy for Record Of The Year ? YoooHaaa predicts it will be Taylor Swift, You Belong To Me. Beyonce is the choice for surprise possibility.

Nominees: Beyoncé's "Halo," Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling," Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody," Lady Gaga's "Poker Face," Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me"

UVA has a new President Theresa Sullivan

2010-01-11T21:34:00.000-05:00

University of Michigan’s chief academic officer and chief budget officer will leave her post to become the eighth president at University of Virginia. Her name is Theresa Sullivan, and what UVA fans want to know is whether or not she will do what it takes to upgrade the athletic programs while holding on the the academic standards . Seems like a good time for UVA WAHOO JOKES especially for Hokie Fans everywhere and a welcome to Theresa Sullivan.

Do you know why the UVA football team should change its name to the "Possums"?
- Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Why doesn't UVA have ice on the sidelines?
- The guy with the recipe graduated.

What do you get when you drive slowly by the UVA campus?
- A degree.

How do you get a UVA graduate off your porch?
- Pay him for the pizza.

Why is it that the UVA football team doesn't have a web site?
- They can't string three "Ws" together.

Did you hear that a UVA player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident?
- He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.

What are the best four years of a UVA student's life?
Third grade.

Johnny says to his mom: I want to be a Wahoo when I grow up.
- Mom: But Johnny, you can't do both.

A Virginia Tech student and a UVA student are both using the men's room. When they finish their business, the Virginia Tech student heads for the door, while the UVA student heads for the sink. The Wahoo calls to the Virginia Tech student, "At UVA, they teach us to wash our hands after using the bathroom."
The Virginia Tech student replies, "At Virginia Tech, they teach us not to pee on our hands."

I heard that George Welsh was only dressing twenty-two players against Virginia Tech.
- He said the rest could dress themselves!

How many Wahoos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- One, but he gets 3 credit hours.

What is the difference between a Wahoo and Rice Crispies?
- Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
- On the UVA campus. That's the last place you'd find a football player.

Why don't Wahoos let their kids play in sand boxes?
- Because the cats keep covering them up.

A Wahoo walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?"
- The frog replies, 'I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt.'

Why do Wahoos keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
- So they can park in handicap spaces.

What is orange, blue, 100 yards wide, and has 2 teeth?
- The front row at Scott stadium.

What do you call a good looking girl on the UVA campus?
- A visitor.

What did the UVA graduate say to the VT graduate upon meeting?
- Hi! Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order please?

What do you call 144 Wahoos?
- Gross ignorance.

Did you hear about the power outage at the UVA library?
- Forty Wahoos were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Did you hear about the fire in UVA's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
- The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Why did Dean Smith go to Charlottesville?
- He wanted to get away from basketball.

Did you hear the Rolling Stones are playing at UVA's Scott stadium?
- Yeah, They're 10-point favorites.

Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the UVA campus?
- The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.

What do a UVA student and a Virginia Tech student have in common?
- They both got accepted to UVA.

What does the average UVA student get on his SAT?
- Drool.

What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a Wahoo?
- Six more weeks of bad football.

Virginia Tech is playing at UVA, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. A UVA fan sets off a firecracker, and Virginia Tech, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field.
- Three plays later,UVA punts.

What should you do if you find three Wahoos buried up to their necks in cement?
- Get more cement!

How do you make Wahoo cookies?
- Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours!

What do UVA grads and tornadoes have in common?
- They both move around a lot, but they all wind up in trailer parks.

Why did UVA rise in the rankings this past week?
- Because the sportswriters and coaches considered 'BYE' as tougher than any other opponent UVA has played so far this season.

How many UVA freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
- None, it's a sophomore course.

What's the difference between a Cavalier and a carp?
- One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

George Welsh, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded UVA flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, George," said God. "This is very special - not everyone gets a house up here." George felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Burgundy and Orange sidewalk, 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Virginia Tech logo flag, and in every window, VT curtains.
George looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a darn good coach, I won several bowl games, and I even went to the College Football Hall of Fame."
God said, "So what do you want to know, George?"
"Well, why does Frank Beamer get a better house than me?"
God chuckled and said, "George, that's not Frank Beamer's house......
It's mine."

Jay Leno was no math for 10pm

2010-01-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

Jay's walking off prime time. Confirming days of rumors, the chairman of NBC announced that starting Feb. 12, The Jay Leno Show will no longer air at 10 p.m. but that the network hoped to keep Leno for an 11:35 p.m. show, Conan O'Brien for 12:05 p.m. and then Jimmy Fallon after that. "It's not a done deal yet." The Jay Leno Show "did not meet affiliate needs" but that through it all, Leno and O'Brien have been "incredibly gracious and professional. I just can't believe that NBC was not ready to give Jay more time ..but now Letterman can quit the public feeling sorry for himself. lets just be glad that the whole debacle gave us Jimmy Fallon.

Best Music Of Glee 1st Season

2009-12-14T16:03:00.003-05:00

The GLEE first season Top 25 Best Songs Ranked In Order Countdown to Number One

No. 25 'Rehab,' Vocal Adrenaline
No. 24. 'I Wanna Sex You Up,' Acafellas
No. 23 'Sweet Caroline,' Mark Salling
No. 22 'Gold Digger,' New Directions
No. 21 'Single Ladies,' the football team
No. 20 'Halo'/'Walking on Sunshine,' New Directions (girls)
No. 19 'No Air,' New Directions
No. 18 'Keep Holding On,' New Directions
No. 17 'My Life Would Suck Without You,' New Directions
No. 16 'Bust a Move,' Matthew Morrison
No. 15 'Alone,' Kristin Chenoweth and Matt Morrison
No. 14 'True Colors,' New Directions
No. 13 'Smile' (Charlie Chaplin version), Lea Michele
No. 12 'Don't Stand So Close to Me'/'Young Girl,' Matthew Morrison
No. 11 'Proud Mary,' New Directions
No. 10 'You Can't Always Get What You Want,' New Directions
No. 9 'Maybe This Time,' Kristin Chenoweth and Lea Michele
No. 8 'Take a Bow,' Lea Michele
No. 7 'Poison,' Acafellas
No. 6 'Somebody to Love,' New Directions
No. 5 'Don't Rain on My Parade,' Lea Michele
No. 4 'Imagine,' New Directions and Haverbrook Deaf Choir
No. 3 'And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going,' Amber Riley
No.2 Defying Gravity, Chris Colfer and Lea Michele
No. 1 'Don't Stop Believing,' New Directions

THINGS YOU LEARN FROM THE MOVIES

2009-09-06T22:47:00.001-04:00

1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

3) The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

4) When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

5) Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

6) Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

7) A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.

8) It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

9) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

10)It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

11) Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

12) An electric fence powerful enough to kill a large dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

13) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

14) It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German you need not speak the language. A German accent will do.

16) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

17) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

18) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

19) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

20) If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade- at any time of the year.

21) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

22) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

23) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

24) Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

25) Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

26) If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

27) Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

28) Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

29) All single women have a cat.

30) Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

31) One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

32) Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

33) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

34) Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them

35) When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

36) Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

37) Whenever a natural or man-made disater is about to occur, the hero escapes (alive) nano second before its too late and is catupulted into the air by the force- but is never harmed

38) No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

39) If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

40) You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.

41) All Americans have phones which can reach throughout the house-even if it has a cord. If its cordless- you can pick up perfect reception all around the house...unless there is a insane killer about

42) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

43) Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.

44) Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.

45) Building ventilation ducts are always clean.

46) Film stars are always super-human- they never need to use the bathroom

47) Any computer, anywhere, even in the jungle, can hack into the most secure goverment system.

48) Any aliens from outer space that you meet will speak your language.

49) No matter how many times you punch someone they will always come back for more - and their wounds have healed dramtically the next day

50) All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

51) All handcuffs can easily be opened with nothing more than a paper clip.

52) Grocery shopping bags are made out of brown paper and there is always enough shopping to fill two bags exactly.

53) If you need to open a locked door make sure you have a credit card handy, that will do. Unless its the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

54) If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

55) If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

56) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

57) No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

58) When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

59) Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

60) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

61) Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

62) Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

63) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

64) Even if you've been set up for murder, been framed and you have the whole world wide police force hunting you down, you will automatically live happliy ever after aslong as you break away from the police and kill the bad guy.

65) If you desire to send any car into flame for any given reason, just shoot it three times, even though in real life you could stand right infront of a vechile and shoot the gun into the gas tank, it wouldnt ignite the fuel, only 1 or 2 bullets in the world can cause a spark, and it seems every police man in movies who blow up vehicles have those bullets!

66) Any woman who has just witnessed her father ,(brother, husband, fammily member ect) killed right there infront of her, will never be traumatised , morn, or be effected in anyway to resist making love to the hero who saved her!

68) Why when the hero of the movie gets the girl at the end , it seems like they will live happily ever after, yet dosent even mention her name or remember her in sequals!

69)You never need to look up the phone number for the pizza delivery service and the delivery guy is always psycic -you never need to tell him where you live or what you want on your pizza.

70) After witnessing a horrible crime being committed- don't call the cops, instead conduct your own Private Eye investigation.

71) If a lifetime of watching movies has taught me anything at all, it's to MAKE SURE that a captured secret agent is dead BEFORE you walk away from your miscellaneous torture device.

72) That, and to always look behind you when you hear menacing violin music begin to play.

73) In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.

74) Rather than wasting bullets, Megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

75) Never disarm a bomb unless it has one second left on the timer. The same goes for escaping from areas with a timed locking mechanism.

76) Always trust the most annoying person you can find because he/she will always survive.

77) If you are being chased by zombies run as fast as you can, even though they can barely walk they will still catch up with you.

78) Secret agents cannot drown because they have special lungs that allow them to breathe forever.

79) If someone you love dies then start mourning and crying, doing so will mean that they will then magically appear in front of you!

80) If someone or something is about to kill you and you have a gun then you are screwed because even if you have a loaded gun, the bullets will mysteriously disappear once you start shooting.

81) If you are in a vehicle and you have a vision of a huge accident and then get out of it then beware, because afterwards, any random object could kill you in any random way. (From Final Destination)

82) If your wife is having an affair, never kill the person she is having it with, you may have to eat him the next day.(From The Cook, The Wife, The Thief and Her Lover)

83) No matter what your mission is you will be given the lastest gadget (or have it installed in your car), which will be the exact thing you need to complete your mission (and it will always work). Also no matter how much experince and trainning someone has shoting, they will always miss the hero.

84) No matter how fast someone runs through the woods, the killer will be able to walk and manage to get just in front of the person as they fall or turn around.

85) All of the killers victims will fall out of trees and become visible only when the last person alive is running for their lives.

86) Being a camp counsellor at a summer camp is as good as a death sentence

87) All zombies roaming the streets have only been bit once or twice, yet when a zombie gets someone on screen they always tear them to pieces

Why Legalize Marujuana ??? California ? Florida ?

2009-07-29T22:43:00.001-04:00

Legalize it ?

When considering the legalization of marijuana, consider these facts.

1919: United States enters prohibition era, banning alcohol.
1920-1932: United States spends enormous amounts of money and time fighting bootleggers and the rise of organized crime.
1933: United States "learns its lesson," and repeals prohibition.
1937: Four years later, United States bans marijuana.
2009: Over 20 billion dollars spent on the War on Drugs so far this year alone in the United States.

Mad World from Adam Lambert -Tears For Fears Lyrics

2009-04-07T22:54:00.002-04:00

"Mad World"
Tears for Fears
covered by Adam Lambert on American Idol

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

who is tom whitnah, makinde adeagbo and Charlotte Carnevale

2009-03-06T08:52:00.000-05:00

Just wondering who are are Blake Ross, Tom Whitnah , Makinde Adeagbo , Rob Goodlatte , charlotte Carnevale . They are all friends of Ben ..and on facebook he is the new demonstration page for the new direction of Facebook. The filters are a good idea .... TRYING TO COIN OR CORNER "THE STREAM" AS THEIR OWN.

Some Funny Cartoons to share

2009-02-08T10:56:00.002-05:00

Some pretty funny pictures and cartoons ...I like the one about a guy going to extremes to honor the wife's request to not lift the toilet seat when he pees, one for not paying the doctor bill and another concerning a mans apparent case of blue balls .

What Wendel The Miller High Life Guy Does is RIGHT

2009-01-07T21:33:00.001-05:00

What to do when someone charges you 11.50 for a Hamburger.... "Yall must Be Crazy"

70's Culture -Fractured Fairy Tales - Rapunzel

2008-12-21T22:29:00.001-05:00

The story of Rapunzel twisted and turned as only Rocky And Bullwinkle for Fractured Fairy Tales

Twas The Star Trek Night Before Christmas

2008-12-07T20:46:00.002-05:00

Twas a Star Trek Christmas
One of the Ten Nights Before Christmas at YoooHaaa.com

'Twas the night before Christmas on the Enterprise-D,
On a routine short hop to Starbase 03,
With Data on duty in the command chair,
At Warp 6, the Enterprise soon would be there.

Just for something to do while the other crew slept,
He scanned where historical records were kept --
And with a blink of his eye and a cock of his head,
"Intriguing! Tomorrow is Christmas!" he said.

But no one was stirring, and he sought to find why,
And so he buzzed Geordi, who awoke with a sigh:
"Christmas? It's only an old holiday --
Now just let me get back to sleep, okay?"

"But is to wish Merry Christmas not human to do?"
And so Data wished it -- to the whole ship and crew.
Everyone on the Enterprise awoke from this clatter --
Picard rushed to the bridge to see what was the matter.

"What is the meaning of this noise, Mister Data?"
"Sir, is it not Christmas--?" "We'll discuss it much later!"

Just then Worf said, "Captain -- a Klingon Prey Bird!
Its hull has been damaged -- it's uncloaking, sir."
"On screen," said Picard, as the Klingon ship hailed:
"Federation vessel, our Life Support systems have failed!

A strange ship attacked us, inflicting the worst,
(though naturally, of course, we'd fired on it first)."

The Klingons beamed over, and the senior staff met,
To try and determine the source of the threat.
Said Picard, "Mister Data, an assignment for you:
Give all of these Klingons something to do!
They think it's the Romulans we should look for,
Get them all off the bridge, before there's a war!"

So Data departed, while the rest of the crew
Wondered: Romulans? Ferengi? If not them, then who?

Said Worf, "Sir -- disturbance on Holodeck Three!"
The entire bridge crew ran down there to see.
Roared Picard, "Mister Data, what the devil is this!!"
"Sir, I have taught the Klingons how to celebrate Christmas."

And so there they were -- on holodecks 3, 4 and 5
With synthohol, singing and Rokeg Blood Pie!
Soon the Big E was rocking with holiday cheer
Friend,foe, and family came from both far and near.

The Romulans showed up with some Romulan Ale,
The Ferengi brought goodies for free -- not for sale!
But a strange ship was coming, the captain was told,
With one crew member only, and a huge cargo hold.

Said the Klingons, "It's the strange ship that fought us -- attack!"
Said Picard, "On Christmas? -- Mister Worf, just hold back."
And then as the ship came into view,
Onscreen came its captain -- none other than Q!

He wore a white beard and a suit of deep red...
"Joyeux Noel, mon captain," was what Santa Q said.
"Tell those Klingons next time to not go so berserk.
You need good defense systems in this line of work.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be warping away...
Did you think anyone else could do this job in one day?"

"I'm sensing emotion," said Counselor Troi,
"Peace in the galaxy, Good Will and Joy."
And they stood on the bridge and watched Q take flight,
shouting,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

Wall-E Subtext and review

2008-11-18T22:52:00.001-05:00

Wall-E ! So much subtext that I certainly won't attempt to bring it all to the forefront when you can find those easter eggs and subtexts elsewhere, but the first thing I have to say about Disney Pixar Wall-SE is that for Pixar, the bar has been set soooooo high, it was unbelievable how far they could exceed expectations. PEOPLE CLAPPED AT THE END OF THIS MOVIE. I have never been to a movie where that happened.

Walmart is the villian here. Make no mistake that as much as we love having Walmart to sell us everything in one place, all that in one place ends up in the trash ..and thats our future.

Christian Religious subtext including EVE the robot as the giver of life and who is responsible for giving a humanless Earth humans again.

Many references to 2001 and Kubrick including two musical selections and the ode to Hal .

Many hidden references to other Pixar gems and of course the ever present John Ratzenberger who has been in every Pixar movie.

Star Wars and Star Trek references ....the Final Frontier in the Buy N Large bon voyage ad.

It comes to mind that perhaps at Pixar, somebody might have said at one point, "do you think this movie might have tooo much love story for the kiddies?" and fortunately, someone said , "why don't we put in MORe love story." Big risks were taken in the movie ...from the abundance of sap between Eve and Wall-E to the way that kids and adults both felt uneasy with the start of the movie and the shape that the future world is found in(kept looking for Will Smith), to the facxt that there is almost no dialogue in the movie. Big Risk, Big Reward !

And most everyone noticed the dig at George Bush when the president in the face of obvious failure and disaster exclaims "stay the course!" I would have stood up and cheered for Mission Accomplished.

There was a great slam of Big Oil with the sea of sludge.

And if there was one thing that felt a little awful at the end, it was that as happy as we all were that Eve and Wall-E were together again, we had genuine concern for the ships residents who had an upcoming miserable existance on the earth that they had landed on. NEVER leave before the credits at a PIXAR movie, and the primitive type graphics told the story of how they rebuilt civilization.

I am pretty sure that an animated film has never been nominated for best picture by Oscar. If this one is not, there will be many people with legitimate gripes. Wall-E is an unbelievable masterpiece

Wall-E Trivia

2008-11-18T22:50:00.000-05:00

YoooHaaa Present Disney Pixar Trivia - Wall-E Trivia

1-WALL-E stands for "Waste Allocation Load Lifter-Earth-class."
2-EVE stands for "Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator"
3-Niagara Falls provided the wind sounds for WALL•E 's world.
4-The Movie that Wall-E loves is Hello Dolly
5-The cockroach chirps were created by speeding up the sounds of a raccoon.
6-The last piece of debris that clears away from WALL-E as he leaves Earth's atmosphere is the Russian satellite Sputnik I, which in 1957 was the first man-made object to be placed in earth orbit.

The Yooohaaa blues and more

2008-11-18T10:05:00.001-05:00

Latest from Yooohaaa.com
YoooHaaa.com presents ...Blue to the Bone...the Fan Page of Blue Odyssey Blue Band
Yes ...the band from Desperate Housewives on ABC.

Song of The Week is : Colors by Kira Willey - The Dell Computer Song

Quote of the Week

"You haven't heard the last of Sparky Monroe "
Jenna Maroney as played by Jane Krakowsky on 30 Rock
Sparky Monroe was the werelawyer from the hit tv show Night court on NBC.

President Elect Barack Obama Speech in Chicago November 4 2008 Election Night

HoneyHoney is the group whose album is a breath of fresh air. It sounds like it belongs in a Tarantino movie. Toy Gun is alot peoples favorite song.

Watching Fox Network

2008-09-30T22:39:00.003-04:00

Really enjoying Fringe from Fox TV these days (returns in 90 seconds) ...realizing that I liked it alot more when it was called X files ....No doubt you just replace the female lead with Scully and it's not much diff than the same...on the episode with the giant butt alien plug they pretty much quit hiding it. I kept waiting for Cartman from southpark to complain about his anal probe. (still the funniest episode of tv ever ..cartman gets an anal probe)

Springsteen AND Billy Joel - When that change was made uptown and the Piano Man Joined the E Street Band

2008-09-30T22:27:00.006-04:00

Springsteen and Billy Joel to Play this Fundraiser ...HOPE for TV Pay Per View or HBO !
Purchase your ticket using the this link.
Tickets must be purchased by October 14th.

Oh to raise the money for Obama ... Tickets are 10,ooo , 2,500 , and cheap seats for 500 bucks. Now ..I have to believe that if they wanted this fundraiser with Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen and friends to increase in value, I would think you could add Tina Fey.

Somewhere you can find an mp3 of Joel doing Thunder Road ---dont know if Bruce covered Allentown

Noooo Mike Delfino isn't dead right ?

2008-09-28T22:33:00.004-04:00

You can't kill Mike Delfino on Desperate Housewives right ? OK... good.

I keep thinking what other shows could use the five year flash forward.

Scouring The Internet for Hot Sara Palin Pictures ???

2008-09-03T07:40:00.005-04:00

OK ...I went there....for the website of course... (yooohaaa.com ) I went on the search for HOT sara palin pictures ... and as far as I can tell, sara palin's boobs aren't in view ever. Barely a cleavage shot (pictured below), one can't deny that she has GREAT eyes (add many adjectives to GREAT) and dandy legs (if you are into that kind of thing) ... but barely anything considered erotic or dirty images ...and certainly nothing in bikini or nude of course .... so for now anyway, nothing really to report but these few shots (and a few more on yooohaaa.com ).

Brooks and Dunn -Only in America lyrics - Obama Song at Democratic Convention in Denver

2008-08-28T23:01:00.002-04:00

Brooks and Dunn
Only in America
played as Obama Finished his Democratic Nomination Speech
August 29 2008

Sun coming up over New York City
School bus driver in a traffic jam
Starin' at the faces in her rearview mirror
Looking at the promise of the Promised Land
One kid dreams of fame and fortune
One kid helps pay the rent
One could end up going to prison
One just might be president

Only in America
Dreaming in red, white and blue
Only in America
Where we dream as big as we want to
We all get a chance
Everybody gets to dance
Only in America

Sun going down on an La. freeway
Newlyweds in the back of a limousine
A welder's son and a banker's daughter
All they want is everything
She came out here to be an actress
He was the singer in a band
They just might go back to Oklahoma
And talk about the stars they could have been

Only in America
Where we dream in red, white and blue
Only in America
Where we dream as big as we want to
We all get a chance
Everybody gets to dance
Only in America

Yeah only in America
Where we dream in red, white and blue
Yeah we dream as big as we want to

Barack Obama met his wife ......

2008-08-25T22:27:00.004-04:00

At the democratic national convention barack obama on monday night said that he had asked out Michelle a couple of times before she finally said yes to the offer of ice cream. And I thought...given his use of cocaine early in life....his line might have been ...

"you haven't had a coke float like the one I can get you..."

or maybe not

the brick - another email forward

2008-08-03T09:12:00.001-04:00

the brick --another wide and wise email forward
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared . Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, 'he said. 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.' Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers

2008-08-03T08:43:00.002-04:00

Another E-mail Forward

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.'

the email forward - star 77

2008-08-03T08:29:00.002-04:00

another email forward

YOU MUST KNOW *77

I knew about the red light on cars, but not the *77
It was about 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, and Lauren was driving to visit a friend. An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on. Lauren's parents have always told her never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc.

Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called *77 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her. The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren't, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way.

Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.

I never knew about the *77 Cell Phone Feature, but especially for a woman alone in a car, you should not pull over for an unmarked car. Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going to a safe & quiet place. You obviously need to make some signals that you acknowledge them (i.e. put on your hazard lights) & call *77 like Lauren did.

Too bad the cell phone companies don't generally give you this little bit of wonderful information.

*Speaking to a service representative at ** Bell ** Mobility confirmed that *77 was a direct link to State trooper info. So, now it's your turn to let your friends know about *7 7.

Send this to every woman (and person) you know; it may save a life. This applies to ALL 50 states.

Kids are Quick - Say Funniest Things

2008-07-14T09:48:00.000-04:00

Kids Are Quick

____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Reduced Shakespeare

2008-07-13T09:49:00.002-04:00

Short Sharp and Intellectual comedies ...thats what's in store for you when you come across this group of three who are incredibly entertaining. A love of Shakespeare is not neccessarily required for the Reduced Shakespeare Company from the talented people of NPR.

Kids & Toddlers Say The Funniest Things

2008-07-13T08:46:00.000-04:00

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

What The .... from YoooHaaa.com

2008-07-13T08:26:00.002-04:00

...and what a week from 7/7/08 to 7/13/08

Arod falls for the curse of the blonde bambino --no ..the bloonde bimbo thats it . She gets half the money and half the home runs. "Hey Andy Petite ...can you get me some of those blue pills from Roger ?"

Iran tests a bunch of missles and buys a new convertable

Gone with the wind...T Boone Pickens is my new hero. Go TBoone Pickens !!!

Google has a new world called LIVELY. I liked it the first time it was called The Sims.
If you like chatting and emoting online via a 3-D avatar, Lively looks like a winner. And if that sounds fatuous, you may be happier with Age of Conan, EVE Online, Shadowbane, or World of Warcraft.

Michael Vick is bankrupt ..well...we knew morally ..now his bank account matches

Forget the iphone...get an LG Voyager ..just as good...even better the LG Dare . The Verizon ENV is decent for what it does.

AMERICAN IDOL AUDITIONS ARE UNDERWAY

2008-07-11T00:40:00.001-04:00

HERE ARE THE CITIES AND DATES FOR AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 8
Cow Palace, San Francisco, Calif. July 17
Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky July 21
Jobing.Com Arena, Phoenix, Arizona July 25
EnergySolutions Arena, Salt Lake City, Utah July 29
Coliseo de Puerto Rico, San Juan Aug. 2
TBA, Kansas City, Mo. Aug. 8
Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville Fl. Aug. 13
Izod Center at the Meadowlands, East Rutherford New Jersey Aug. 19

American Idol Top 12 Ranked-BROOKE WHITE to WIN

2008-03-07T08:31:00.000-05:00

HERE ARE THE TOP 12 RANKED BY YOOOHAAA.COM
BROOKE WHITE TO WIN, DAVID ARCHULETTA TO PLACE, JASON CASTRO TO SHOW.

For the most part, once again, we have the right ones in as the competition moves to the top 12. The only exceptions are Kristy and Chickezie, the latter of which has redeemed himself as of late. I was hoping Kady would stick around long enough to make the tour. Oh well...she just didn't have the pipes ..hope she lands somewhere visible.

1-Brooke White-HOME RUN again
2-David Archuletta-No question a star no matter where he exits.
3-Jason Castro-Can Make A Very Interesting Run
4-Carly Smithson-What range but no underdog factor hurts
5-Michael Johns-Has the Pipes and Charisma
6-Amanda Overmeyer-Rockin Nurse has a voting fanbase
7-David Cook-Moving up on combination of talent and star-smarts
8-Syesha-Big Voice could move it up
9-David Hernandez-Moving him ahead of Danny here..
10-Ramiele - Will make the tour if she finishes here
11-Chikezie Eze-outside chance to make the tour with strong performances
12-Kristy Lee Cook-Her being in top 12 lets everyone know they get a pass first week.

Brooke White TO WIN American Idol, Archuletta heartbreaking runner up in Top 16 Rankings and expert analysis from YoooHaaa.com

2008-02-29T10:00:00.006-05:00

Brooke White to WIN AI Season 7

American Idol Thoughts from the AMERICAN IDOL HALL OF FAME PAGE from YOOOHAAA.COM

I thought for the most part..the right ones were voted out in top 24 week 2. Those girls are sure a huggy kissy crying bunch aren't they? After the week one elminations of our boy Colton destined for Broadway, Garrett destined for whatever Peter Frampton or Leif Garret biopic comes out, forgettable Joanne and Amy in the rear view mirror as well, we see that
Robbie Carrico was ripe to go ...Jason is too much of a lounge singer amd too boring ....Chickezie and Luke are still on the boys chopping block for next week I think. I had Alaina going this week all along ...but a bit surprised at talented Alexandrea going this week. I have to say ...even though Kady the Lady is on the block now for next week...WE HOPE she pulls through and sticks around long enough to make the tour. SHE is just damn fun. Lov Her

Top 8 Boys:

David Archuleta 1 (had him here from the preseason---no doubt he is the male one to beat and will be a superstar ..has more to offer than perhaps any previous American Idol...I think he is THE ONE that they have been looking for, and kinda found with Carrie...David will be BIG -HOWEVER, I am still projecting a lady to win it...David the runner up)

Jason Castro 2 (after the amazing debut, another solid performance this week keeps him to top)

Michael Johns 3 (rocker field is crowded ..gets here on charisma)

Danny Noriega 4 (I still say he is too queeny for the girls to vote for...much less guys ..NOT that there is anything wrong with being queeny...but we will see)

David Cook 5 (REAL tasty guitar licks...will anyone care ?..can we get over the squinty eyes ?)

David Hernandez 6 (I am keeping him down here again.... He HAS had two bang up performances though. )

Luke Menard 7 (sorry dog...should be gone)

Chikezie Eze 8 (better but still ugh)
WHY IS THIS ONE HERE AND COLTON GONE ?

Top 12 Girls:
Not alot of movement in this list this week

Brooke White 1 (NEXT AMERICAN IDOL)

Amanda Overmyer 2 (Really Sang AWFUL but has a fan following that will pull her through to the final 4 I think. Still COULD GET LOST IN THE SHEER NUMBER OF GOOD ROCKERS THIS YEAR)

Carly Smithson 3
MAY LOSE ON THE LACK OF UNDERDOG FACTOR ALONE. Sings great but we know her background too well.

Ramiele Malubay 4
ehhhhh ok

Asia'H Epperson 5
ehhhhh ok again

Syesha Mercado 6
can win this if she hits a couple of home runs

Kristy Lee Cook 7 CANNOT win this if she hits 10 home runs
(down from 6 last week)

Kady Malloy 9
(We are rethinking the "can win it" statement from last week...but hopes she sticks around.

The Funny Side Of The McCain Extramarital Affair

2008-02-25T08:28:00.002-05:00

YoooHaaa.com Presents The Funnier Side of the John McCain Extramarital Affair

Boy oh boy, did you read about John McCain, ladies and gentlemen? Did you read about John McCain? Oh, well, according to the New York Times now, John McCain may have had an inappropriate relationship with a young blond. That sounds like presidential material to me." --David Letterman

"I mean, think about it, John McCain and with a young blond, and this was interesting: out of force of habit, Hillary is standing by him." --David Letterman

Today's New York Times is claiming that John McCain, who is 71 years old, had an inappropriate relationship with a woman who is a Washington lobbyist. The good news is there's no footage. Political experts say this could be a huge scandal for McCain because he's married and the woman he's accused of having an affair with is 31 years younger than he is. In a related story, earlier today McCain was endorsed by Bill Clinton." --Conan O'Brien

"There was a big story in The New York Times today about Senator John McCain, who's running for president. It questioned his ties to a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman. The story 'hinted' that McCain may have had an extramarital affair with her, but the weird thing is she looks almost exactly like John McCain's wife, Cindy. So he might have just got confused and grabbed the wrong woman. These two look more alike than the Olson twins." --Jimmy Kimmel

"I don't know if anything happened or not, but I think the rule of thumb should be every year you're in a Vietnamese prison camp, you should be allowed one extramarital affair." --Jimmy Kimmel

"It's been a very tough day for John McCain with the New York Times' allegation that he had an affair. The paper is saying McCain had an affair, years ago, with Joan of Arc or something." --Craig Ferguson

AMerican Idol SO FAR from YoooHaaa.com

2008-01-31T17:16:00.001-05:00

Miami Auditions Jan 30, 2008
I am not shouting this from the hilltops or anything ...but I thought the girl who sang the Janis Joplin song named Shannon McGough was easily ..I mean EASILY good enough to to to Hollywood. It must sound very different in the room with the judges then what I heard on TV. And Julie Dubela who took on Janis Joplin wasn't bad either

Suzanne Toon from Clearwater Florida Sang I Can't Make You Love Me ..but she can

Natashia Blach from way out in Fort Collins, CO did an absolutely AMAZING "At Last," by Etta James
Ilsy Lorena Pino from Miami, FL sang "Unfaithful," Rihanna

Ramiele Malubay, did it all with Aretha Franklin Soul.

Syesha Mercado's did Aretha proud as well with Think / Freedom (I never heard the song called that..I thought it was just THINK)

Robbie Carrico flat out ROCKED on Skynard ...and don't be surprised if he is a top 10.

Corliss Smith could inspire as well.

Brittany Wescott has a good combination of voice and the rest of what it takes to be a star.

Omaha Auditions Jan 29, 2008
NEBRASKA ?????? ok

I for one can't wait to see singing wrestler goth chick Sarah Whitaker come off the top rope and body slam Seacrest on the finale.

the guy who sang amazingly but couldnt remember the words
Jason Rich: Farm boy who could not remember the words but sounded great. Simon has NEVER been this forgiving for anyone in any situation ever period.

Rachael Wicker: Hey ..who doesn't love a hot chick that can kick your butt at arm wrestling and then blow the roof off with her voice.

Samantha Sidley: "don't know why i didn't come." SOUNDED AWESOME.

David Cook: Inspired by Daughtry means AI fans got a clip of Daughtry before the rocker in a sweater belted out Bon Jovi.

Angelica Puente: Her dad said Ass on TV ... WHY do I feel like Beavis and Butthead reporting this fact.

Leo Marlowe: The smallest most boringest town ever ...or something like that he said....not good for the votes when you diss your hometown...even if it is 200 votes.

LET MY PEOPLE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Go Down Moses" James Lewis

"...you are my brother!" Renaldo Lapuz

"No Sex Allowed" Milo "Old Guy" Turk
Well here we are and twoweeks into the season ..who is the favorite or favorites ?

Kristy Lee Cook Amazing Grace Indeed

Chris Watson--Hunk ???

Junot Joyner I guess thats why the call it a good voice !

Carly Smithson blew the judges away. But she is really not an amateur.

Katie (Kady) Malloy (18, Houston, TX) is the early favorite as "the best we've seen so far" from Simon. She impersonates everyone!

Alaina Whitaker (16, Tulsa, OK) was my favorite ..doing Faith Hill.

Drew Poppelreiter -Isn't one George Strait in the world enough ?

Colton Swon from Oklahoma gave it a good country boy go at it.
Pia "Zpia" Easley (24, Chicago, IL) Nice Gladys Knight
Kyle Ensley (21, Valiant, OK) wants to be a politician AND an Idol.
Jessica Brown (24, Longview, TX) is a former meth addict turning her life around
Kayla Hatfield (24, Campbell, TX) was in a crash and is lucky to be alive ..possibly one of the most sympathetic "you are going to Hollywood's" ever

Joey "Biggest Loser" Catalano -I have to say ...was it to him that Simon said go get some food ? Would you say to a reformed drug addict..."you are going to Hollywood ..go get some drugs ?"

Angela Martin - Big underdog factor ?
Melanie Nyema Taylor Hicks former backup singer who has already outsold him.

Jose Candelaria Keep an eye on this one.

Beth Stalker -Name will be remembered

Brandon Green-FINGERNAILS ECHHHHHH!

Kyle Ensley
Jonathan Baines
Nina Shaw
Melanie Nyema

2 weeks into the idol season ..who are the favorites

2008-01-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

latest from the YoooHaaa.com American Idol Hall Of Fame Picture Page

Well here we are and twoweeks into the season ..who is the favorite or favorites ?

Kristy Lee Cook Amazing Grace Indeed

Chris Watson--Hunk ???

Junot Joyner I guess thats why the call it a good voice !

Carly Smithson blew the judges away. But she is really not an amateur.

Katie (Kady) Malloy (18, Houston, TX) is the early favorite as "the best we've seen so far" from Simon. She impersonates everyone!

Alaina Whitaker (16, Tulsa, OK) was my favorite ..doing Faith Hill.

Drew Poppelreiter -Isn't one George Strait in the world enough ?

Colton Swon from Oklahoma gave it a good country boy go at it.
Pia "Zpia" Easley (24, Chicago, IL) Nice Gladys Knight
Kyle Ensley (21, Valiant, OK) wants to be a politician AND an Idol.
Jessica Brown (24, Longview, TX) is a former meth addict turning her life around
Kayla Hatfield (24, Campbell, TX) was in a crash and is lucky to be alive ..possibly one of the most sympathetic "you are going to Hollywood's" ever

Joey "Biggest Loser" Catalano -I have to say ...was it to him that Simon said go get some food ? Would you say to a reformed drug addict..."you are going to Hollywood ..go get some drugs ?"

Angela Martin - Big underdog factor ?
Melanie Nyema Taylor Hicks former backup singer who has already outsold him.

Jose Candelaria Keep an eye on this one.

Beth Stalker -Name will be remembered

Brandon Green-FINGERNAILS ECHHHHHH!

Kyle Ensley
Jonathan Baines
Nina Shaw
Melanie Nyema

You Are My Brother!

Hollywood Rounds are Feb 12th and 13th ...and the list of whom is believed to be on those episodes is listed below. Carly Hennessy, a former MCA recording artist ?? is rumored to be one of the top 50 ..if not into the top 24. Here is her shot.

Lots Of American Idol News

2007-12-14T13:22:00.000-05:00

American Idol News is coming fast and furious. Here is the latest from Yooohaaa.com American Idol Hall Of Fame Page where the news is plentiful, and includes the list of those who make it to Hollywood. (If you want to remember the BAD singers from last year, the Hall Of Shame Awful Idols are included as well)

Fox TV has a moderately well liked show called BONES. Two American Idol contestants from the years gone by have been cast in an upcoming episode. Ace Young and Brandon Rogers will guest star on the show. Fox will also make sure that it's ringinng in of the New Year has Ultimate Idol Star Quality with BOTH Jordin Sparks and Blake Lewis As 2007 comes to an end, the biggest selling Idol for the year was obviously Chris Daughtry...and his band Daughtry. In fact, it was the number one seller overall in the U.S. for the year.

And as 2007 comes to an end, the most watched TV show of the year was ....taaadaaa you know it ..-American Idol

Idol Gives Back 2008 is set for April 9, 2008.

Phil Stacey is working on a new Country CD with Lyric Street Records and producer Wayne Kirkpatrick.

Jessica Sierra was busted on coke, causing a disturbance and numerous other transgressions outside a Florida Bar. Here is the story

Here are the best pick up lines we found on the internet

2007-09-18T16:31:00.001-04:00

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again?

2. Do you sleep on your stomach?...no?....Can I ?

3. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can easily see myself in your pants.

4. Tomorrow morning, do you want me to call you or nudge you?

5. Your parents must be bakers cuz they sure put out a great set of buns!

6. Your parents must be thieves cuz someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

7. Do you have a quarter? Cuz I promised I would call my mother as soon as I fell in love.

8. Do you have some Irish in you? Would you like a little Irish in you?
9. Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?
10. Would you like to go home for a pizza and a fuck?....*slap*...what? you don't like pizza? 11. Your legs must be tired cuz you've been running through my mind all night.

12. That shirt is very becoming on you, of course if I were that shirt I would be coming on you too.

13. If I told you I liked your body would you hold it against me?

14. Pez?

15. I heard milk was good for your body, but damn! You must drink gallons at a time!
16. Hi, my name is Billy. Don't forget, because you'll be screaming it later tonight.

17. Excuse me, but could you give me directions? To where? Your heart...

18. F^^^ me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

19. Come over here and sit on my lap--we can talk about the first thing that pops up

20. Excuse me Miss, is that dress felt?...Would you like it to be?

21. The voices in my head say you should go out with me....

22. Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just you.

23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together.

24. I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body.

25. Person A: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Person B: No Person A: Well then, please start.

26. If I follow you home, will you keep me?

27. Have you ever been licked until tears rolled from
your eyes?

28. Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you?

29. Lick finger, and rub it on the clothing of the person, then rub it on yours. Just a light touch will do. "So, what do you say we get out of these wet clothes..."

30. (hold up first two fingers on one hand) Know why you should use these two fingers to masturbate? No, why? Because they're mine.

31. A: Walks up to "B" and gently pulls up "B's" collar and looks at the tag in the shirt. A: Hmph and a long pause. Then A walks away. B: What the hell? What was that? etc... A: Oh... I was just checking to see if it said "Made in Heaven."

32. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...let's say we tie up for the night?

33. A: Did it hurt? B: What?!?!?!?!? A: When you fell from the sky as an angel!

You KNOW you are a Redneck ???

2007-07-15T11:15:00.000-04:00

Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.

Elizabeth Edwards vs Ann Coulter

2007-07-07T08:49:00.001-04:00

The transcript of Elizabeth Edwards calling in to Hardball
MATTHEWS: You know who is on the line? Somebody to respond to what you said about Edwards yesterday morning. Elizabeth Edwards. She wanted to call in today. We said she could.
Elizabeth Edwards, go on the line. You‘re on the line with Ann Coulter.
ELIZABETH EDWARDS, WIFE OF JOHN EDWARDS: Hello, Chris.
MATTHEWS: Do you want to say something directly to the person who is with me?
EDWARDS: I‘m calling—you know, in the South, we—when someone does something that displeases us, we want to ask them politely to stop doing it.
I would like to ask Ann Coulter to—if she wants to debate on issues, on positions, we certainly disagree with nearly everything she said on your show today. But—but it is quite another matter to—for these personal attacks.
That‘s—the things that she has said over the years, not just about John, but about other candidates, is—lowers our—our political dialogue precisely at the time that we need to raise it.
So, I—I want to use the opportunity, which I don‘t get much, because Ann and I don‘t hang out with the same people—to ask…
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: … have enough money.
EDWARDS: …. her politely to stop the personal attacks.
COULTER: OK. So, I made a joke, let‘s see, six months ago.
And, as you point out, they have been raising money off of it for six months, since then.
MATTHEWS: But this is yesterday morning, what you said about him.
COULTER: I didn‘t say anything about him, actually, either time.
EDWARDS: Ann knows—you know that‘s not true.
And, what‘s more, this has been going on for some time.
COULTER: And I don‘t mind you trying to raise money. I mean, it‘s better this than giving $50,000 speeches to the poor…
EDWARDS: I‘m asking you—I‘m asking you politely…
COULTER: … just to use my name on the Web pages.
But, as for a debate with me, yes, sure.
EDWARDS: I‘m asking you politely…
COULTER: Yes, we will have a debate.
EDWARDS: … to stop—to stop personal attacks.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: How about you stop raising money on your Web page, then?
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: No, you don‘t have to, because I don‘t mind.
(CROSSTALK)
EDWARDS: It did not start with that. You had a column a number of years ago…
COULTER: Great. OK.
EDWARDS: … where you suggested that…
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: The wife of a presidential candidate is calling in, asking me to stop speaking?
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: Let her finish the point. Let her finish the point.
COULTER: You‘re asking me to stop speaking? Stop writing your columns. Stop writing your books.
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: Ann, please.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTER: OK.
EDWARDS: You had a column a couple of years ago which—which made fun of the moment of Charlie Dean‘s death, and suggested that my husband had a bumper sticker on the back of his car that said, “Ask me about my dead son.”
COULTER: That‘s now three years ago.
EDWARDS: This is not legitimate political dialogue. It debases political dialogue. It drives people away from the process. We can‘t have a debate about issues if you‘re using this kind of language.
COULTER: Yes, why isn‘t John Edwards making this call?
MATTHEWS: Well, do you want to respond? We will end this conversation.
EDWARDS: I have not talked to John about this call.
COULTER: I think this is just another attempt for…
EDWARDS: I‘m making this call as a mother. I‘m the mother of that boy who died. My children participate. These young people behind you are the age of my children. You‘re asking them to participate in a dialogue that is based on hatefulness and ugliness, instead of on the issues.
And I don‘t—I don‘t think that is serving them or this country very well.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
MATTHEWS: Thank you very much, Elizabeth Edwards.
Do you want to—you have all the time in the world to respond to that.
COULTER: I think we heard all we need to hear. The wife of a presidential candidate is asking me to stop speaking.
No.
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: No, she said you should stop being so negative to people individually.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: Right, as opposed to bankrupting doctors by giving a shyster Las Vegas routine in front of juries, based on science…
MATTHEWS: OK.
COULTER: Wait. You said I would have as long as I would have.
MATTHEWS: Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.
COULTER: And you instantly interrupt me.
MATTHEWS: Go ahead. Go ahead.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTER: As I was saying, doing these psychic routines in front of illiterate juries to bankrupt doctors, who now can‘t deliver babies, and to charge a poverty group $50,000 for a speech. Don‘t talk to me about how to use language.
MATTHEWS: Elizabeth.
EDWARDS: … language of hate. And I am going to ask you again to politely stop using personal attacks as part of your dialogue.
COULTER: OK, I will stop writing books.
(LAUGHTER)
MATTHEWS: Why do you talk about…
(CROSSTALK)
EDWARDS: If you can‘t write them without them, then that is fine.

Girls You Might Wanna

2007-05-15T16:45:00.000-04:00

Two of the latest stories on Yooohaaa.com are about Kelly Pickler and her new boobs and Evan Rachel Wood and her sudden inhibition on camera with Manson. Read All About It at Yooohaaa.com .

NBC Thank God You're Here Review and Notes

2007-04-10T12:28:00.000-04:00

From yooohaaa.com/television/thankgodyourehere.htm

It's one of the freshest things to come to network TV since Saturday Night Live, with tremendous apologies to Wayne Brady, who may be the male equivalent of the all time improve comic, the Great Carol Burnett. Somehow despite Brady's genius, ABC's Whose Line Is It Anyway faded from the national spotlight to the Family Channel and Brady continues to toil in relative obscurity.

Bring on the new Thank God You're Here, where every sketch starts with those words, featuring 4 celebrity guest stars each week and host David Alan Greer along with "Judge" Dave Foley, (whose function bears no resemblance whatsoever to what Drew Carey does on Whose Line) along with a cast of perky, energetic regulars who are the only ones in on the script. The guest stars fend for themselves and hope to win the cheezy plastic award given away at the end of each show by a properly unimpressed Foley.

The show is based on an Australian show.

Episode 1
April 9 2007

Wayne Knight-played a modern day snake oil salesman

Brian Cranstan-A British Rock Star and later a gayish superhero

Joel McHale-Egyptial Pyramid Explorer Indiana Jones Style. He is MUCH better on The Soup.

Jennifer Coolidge-Beauty Queen Contestant and superhero who apparently farts dangerous golden doughnuts

Winner-Cristan

Episode 2
April 9 2007
Mo'nique-Clueless Gameshow hostess

Kevin Nealon-Alpine mountain climbing expedition leader who gave us, as Foley put it, "chick on chick CPR" in his first sketch

Edie McClurg who played a funny wife in marriage counseling

Richard Kind-Just plain awful...perhaps put there to illustrate how hard improve can be-as a morning show sound effects guy. GOOD JOB by the cast to nail the ZOO radio format.

YoooHaaa.com latest on Bush, Fergie, and the New SNL

2007-04-09T11:31:00.000-04:00

The World Today
Our Lottery Buddy Jack Whitaker says winning a bazillion really stinks. Yeah Right!

Bush keeps trying to get it up ..but wont even go halfway. Mission Not Accomplished.

The World Tomorrow
Th e Right Stuff astronauts going to Mars and beyond...Smart, Savvy, and Short

TV, Movies, Media
Anyone remember when George Carlin hosted the first Saturday Night Live way back when ? It's like that...Thank God You're Here Debuts... Wayne Brady says "whaaaaaa?".

Fergie with a little HLA .

In Your Heart You Must Trust-_Bruce Springsteen

2007-03-26T16:58:00.000-04:00

The World Today
He went to the Mustang Ranch, and it burned when he peed ..but not like that.

The World Tomorrow
Teeny Tiny Scissors that Tiny Elvis shouldnt run with

TV, Movies, Media

A Better Video Search Engine...Google says WHAAAAA????

A Laugh License plate spied on a broken-down car on the side of the road: CALLAAA. On the freeway I noticed a motor home towing a sport utility vehicle. The license plate on the SUV was FNCYFRE. The plate on the motor home was FTLOOSE.

A Quote THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a god! "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."

Some Boss Lyrics

Bruce Springsteen -Leap Of Faith

All over the world the rain was pourin'
I was scratchin' where it itched
Oh heartbreak and despair got nothing but boring
So I grabbed you baby like a wild pitch

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust

Now your legs were heaven your breasts were the altar
Your body was the holy land
You shouted "jump" but my heart faltered
You laughed and said "Baby don't you understand?"

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust

Now you were the Red Sea I was Moses
I kissed you and slipped into a bed of roses
The waters parted and love rushed inside
I was Jesus' son sanctified

Tonight the moon's looking young but I'm feelin' younger
'Neath a veil of dreams sweet blessings rain
Honey I can feel the first breeze of summer
And in your love I'm born again

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust

List Of Pet Foods Unsafe and Re Called

2007-03-19T19:21:00.000-04:00

Recalled Dog Product Information
Recall Information 1-866-895-2708
Americas Choice, Preferred Pets
Authority
Award
Best Choice
Big Bet
Big Red
Bloom
Wegmans Bruiser
Cadillac
Companion
Demoulas Market Basket
Eukanuba
Food Lion
Giant Companion
Great Choice
Hannaford
Hill Country Fare
Hy-Vee
Iams
Laura Lynn
Loving Meals
Meijers Main Choice
Mighty Dog Pouch
Mixables
Nutriplan
Nutro Max
Nutro Natural Choice
Nutro Ultra
Nutro
Ol'Roy Canada
Ol'Roy US
Paws
Pet Essentials
Pet Pride - Good n Meaty
Presidents Choice
Price Chopper
Priority Canada
Priority US
Publix
Roche Brothers
Save-A-Lot
Schnucks
Shep Dog
Springsfield Prize
Sprout
Stater Brothers
Weis Total Pet
Western Family US
White Rose
Winn Dixie
Your Pet

Recalled Cat Product Information
Recall Information 1-866-895-2708
Americas Choice, Preferred Pets
Authority
Best Choice
Companion
Compliments
Demoulas Market Basket
Eukanuba
Fine Feline Cat
Food Lion
Foodtown
Giant Companion
Hannaford
Hill Country Fare
Hy-Vee
Iams
Laura Lynn
Li'l Red
Loving Meals
Meijer's Main Choice
Nutriplan
Nutro Max Gourmet Classics
Nutro Natural Choice
Paws
Pet Pride
Presidents Choice
Price Chopper
Priority US
Save-A-Lot
Schnucks
Science Diet Feline Savory Cuts Cans
Sophistacat
Special Kitty Canada
Special Kitty US
Springfield Prize
Sprout
Wegmans
Weis Total Pet
Western Family US
White Rose
Winn Dixie

Sucks To Be Antonella Barba of American Idol ?

2007-02-27T14:57:00.000-05:00

Hey it sucks to be Antonella Barba doesnt it ? Just kidding. Some of those pictures she seems very cheeky with her girlfriends ... I heard one of them gave her a review of her singing last week ...two thumbs up :)
I found the pictures that were safe for work at http://yooohaaa.com/idol.htm
It has the current most likely to be in the top ten Idols.

Black Donnellys Premieres

2007-02-25T14:52:00.000-05:00

A big show for NBC to take a swipe at the Soprano's lovers as much as you can on network TV with The Black Donnellys.

Best Preview Page found at NBC.COM or better than that go here.
http://yooohaaa.com/television/blackdonnellys.htm

2007-02-22T10:30:00.000-05:00

Here are some spotlights on the current Yooohaaa.com anything about everything (eventually) site.

Anna Nicole Smith "Safe For Work" Tribute in pictures

American Idol Top Ten up and Down and Out

Studio 60 Cancelled ... The Black Donnelly's Page and the reason Studio 60 reminded me of the old ABC show Friday's from the 1980's

The YoooHaaa.com Oscar Predictions

Visit the site to see much more.

Oscar Predictions

2007-02-20T09:12:00.000-05:00

For a more complete list of the Oscar Predictions from YoooHaaa.com go to the website ..here are the highlights.

YOOOHAAA.COM 2007 OSCAR PREDICTIONS

BEST PICTURE

Babel
The Departed
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen

YOOOHAAA.COM PREDICTS THE DEPARTED

BEST DIRECTOR

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu - Babel
Martin Scorsese - The Departed
Clint Eastwood - Letters From Iwo Jima
Stephen Frears- The Queen
Paul Greengrass - United 93

YOOOHAAA.COM PREDICTS SCORSESE

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Penelope Cruz - Volver
Judi Dench - Notes On A Scandal
Helen Mirren - The Queen
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet - Little Children

YOOOHAAA.COM PREDICTS MERYL STREEP

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Leonardo DiCaprio - Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling - Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole - Venus
Will Smith - The Pursuit Of Happyness
Forest Whitaker - The Last King Of Scotland

YOOOHAAA.COM PREDICTS FOREST WHITAKER

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Adriana Barraza - Babel
Cate Blanchett - Notes On A Scandal
Abigail Breslin - Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi - Babel

YOOOHAAA.COM PREDICTS JENNIFER HUDSON

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Alan Arkin - Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley - Little Children
Djimon Hounsou - Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls
Mark Wahlberg - The Departed

YOOOHAAA.COM PREDICTS EDDIE MURPHY

American Idol Top Ten Frontrunners So Far Poll

2007-02-03T13:26:00.000-05:00

There is a great site with a few things going on ..The American Idol Hall Of Fame Picture Page , the Hall Of Shame mp3 files from the awful auditions, and most important, the legit first TOP TEN FRONTRUNNERS POLL is up now. You can vote for your favorites and download mp3 files

Go to http://www.yooohaaa.com/idol.htm and vote! It will be very interesting ..if not scientific ...to find out who the first frontrunner is.

American Idol mp3 awful singing

2007-01-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

the bad singing files are at this site I found

http://www.yooohaaa.com/idol.htm

Sadaam Hussein Execution Video

2006-12-31T14:39:00.000-05:00

For anyone who had a hard time finding the video .... shaky cellphone video is found here of the actual execution

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=863ce7d4a3

2006-11-12T11:30:00.000-05:00

This is the best video retrospective of President Bush Snafu's, Gaffs, and guffaws . Enjoy!

Kids Jokes

2006-10-22T12:52:00.000-04:00

Childrens JOkes

For The Kids...
Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!

Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!

Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With it's sparrowchute!

Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody Wood Pickle!

Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!

Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A: A Macaw!

Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?
A: A mynah bird!

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!
----------------------------

Belinda Stronach

2006-10-06T17:04:00.000-04:00

The New Girlfriend ???

Apparently Bill Clinton is at it again ...the new woman is Belinda Stronach .. the new Monica Lewinsky ? Any Pictures of the Blue Dress of 2006 coming into the limelight ?

What will Hillary Do ? CATFIGHT !

Funny Baby Reading

2006-10-06T16:50:00.000-04:00

KT Tunstall and Storm Large links

2006-08-21T10:32:00.000-04:00

A couple of pages I thought would be of interest to this group.
KT TUNSTALL fanpage has lots of links and good info
http://www.yooohaaa.com/kttunstall.htm

STORM LARGE of CBS Rockstar TRibute page is mostly pictures for now --but they aint hard to look at at all http://www.yooohaaa.com/stormlargetrib.htm

ROCK ON EVERYONE