wow

You KNOW you are a Redneck ???

Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.

Elizabeth Edwards vs Ann Coulter

The transcript of Elizabeth Edwards calling in to Hardball
MATTHEWS: You know who is on the line? Somebody to respond to what you said about Edwards yesterday morning. Elizabeth Edwards. She wanted to call in today. We said she could.
Elizabeth Edwards, go on the line. You‘re on the line with Ann Coulter.
ELIZABETH EDWARDS, WIFE OF JOHN EDWARDS: Hello, Chris.
MATTHEWS: Do you want to say something directly to the person who is with me?
EDWARDS: I‘m calling—you know, in the South, we—when someone does something that displeases us, we want to ask them politely to stop doing it.
I would like to ask Ann Coulter to—if she wants to debate on issues, on positions, we certainly disagree with nearly everything she said on your show today. But—but it is quite another matter to—for these personal attacks.
That‘s—the things that she has said over the years, not just about John, but about other candidates, is—lowers our—our political dialogue precisely at the time that we need to raise it.
So, I—I want to use the opportunity, which I don‘t get much, because Ann and I don‘t hang out with the same people—to ask…
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: … have enough money.
EDWARDS: …. her politely to stop the personal attacks.
COULTER: OK. So, I made a joke, let‘s see, six months ago.
And, as you point out, they have been raising money off of it for six months, since then.
MATTHEWS: But this is yesterday morning, what you said about him.
COULTER: I didn‘t say anything about him, actually, either time.
EDWARDS: Ann knows—you know that‘s not true.
And, what‘s more, this has been going on for some time.
COULTER: And I don‘t mind you trying to raise money. I mean, it‘s better this than giving $50,000 speeches to the poor…
EDWARDS: I‘m asking you—I‘m asking you politely…
COULTER: … just to use my name on the Web pages.
But, as for a debate with me, yes, sure.
EDWARDS: I‘m asking you politely…
COULTER: Yes, we will have a debate.
EDWARDS: … to stop—to stop personal attacks.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: How about you stop raising money on your Web page, then?
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: No, you don‘t have to, because I don‘t mind.
(CROSSTALK)
EDWARDS: It did not start with that. You had a column a number of years ago…
COULTER: Great. OK.
EDWARDS: … where you suggested that…
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: The wife of a presidential candidate is calling in, asking me to stop speaking?
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: Let her finish the point. Let her finish the point.
COULTER: You‘re asking me to stop speaking? Stop writing your columns. Stop writing your books.
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: Ann, please.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTER: OK.
EDWARDS: You had a column a couple of years ago which—which made fun of the moment of Charlie Dean‘s death, and suggested that my husband had a bumper sticker on the back of his car that said, “Ask me about my dead son.”
COULTER: That‘s now three years ago.
EDWARDS: This is not legitimate political dialogue. It debases political dialogue. It drives people away from the process. We can‘t have a debate about issues if you‘re using this kind of language.
COULTER: Yes, why isn‘t John Edwards making this call?
MATTHEWS: Well, do you want to respond? We will end this conversation.
EDWARDS: I have not talked to John about this call.
COULTER: I think this is just another attempt for…
EDWARDS: I‘m making this call as a mother. I‘m the mother of that boy who died. My children participate. These young people behind you are the age of my children. You‘re asking them to participate in a dialogue that is based on hatefulness and ugliness, instead of on the issues.
And I don‘t—I don‘t think that is serving them or this country very well.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
MATTHEWS: Thank you very much, Elizabeth Edwards.
Do you want to—you have all the time in the world to respond to that.
COULTER: I think we heard all we need to hear. The wife of a presidential candidate is asking me to stop speaking.
No.
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: No, she said you should stop being so negative to people individually.
(CROSSTALK)
COULTER: Right, as opposed to bankrupting doctors by giving a shyster Las Vegas routine in front of juries, based on science…
MATTHEWS: OK.
COULTER: Wait. You said I would have as long as I would have.
MATTHEWS: Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.
COULTER: And you instantly interrupt me.
MATTHEWS: Go ahead. Go ahead.
(LAUGHTER)
COULTER: As I was saying, doing these psychic routines in front of illiterate juries to bankrupt doctors, who now can‘t deliver babies, and to charge a poverty group $50,000 for a speech. Don‘t talk to me about how to use language.
MATTHEWS: Elizabeth.
EDWARDS: … language of hate. And I am going to ask you again to politely stop using personal attacks as part of your dialogue.
COULTER: OK, I will stop writing books.
(LAUGHTER)
MATTHEWS: Why do you talk about…
(CROSSTALK)
EDWARDS: If you can‘t write them without them, then that is fine.

Girls You Might Wanna

Two of the latest stories on Yooohaaa.com are about Kelly Pickler and her new boobs and Evan Rachel Wood and her sudden inhibition on camera with Manson. Read All About It at Yooohaaa.com .

NBC Thank God You're Here Review and Notes

From yooohaaa.com/television/thankgodyourehere.htm

It's one of the freshest things to come to network TV since Saturday Night Live, with tremendous apologies to Wayne Brady, who may be the male equivalent of the all time improve comic, the Great Carol Burnett. Somehow despite Brady's genius, ABC's Whose Line Is It Anyway faded from the national spotlight to the Family Channel and Brady continues to toil in relative obscurity.

Bring on the new Thank God You're Here, where every sketch starts with those words, featuring 4 celebrity guest stars each week and host David Alan Greer along with "Judge" Dave Foley, (whose function bears no resemblance whatsoever to what Drew Carey does on Whose Line) along with a cast of perky, energetic regulars who are the only ones in on the script. The guest stars fend for themselves and hope to win the cheezy plastic award given away at the end of each show by a properly unimpressed Foley.

The show is based on an Australian show.

Episode 1
April 9 2007

Wayne Knight-played a modern day snake oil salesman

Brian Cranstan-A British Rock Star and later a gayish superhero

Joel McHale-Egyptial Pyramid Explorer Indiana Jones Style. He is MUCH better on The Soup.

Jennifer Coolidge-Beauty Queen Contestant and superhero who apparently farts dangerous golden doughnuts

Winner-Cristan

Episode 2
April 9 2007
Mo'nique-Clueless Gameshow hostess

Kevin Nealon-Alpine mountain climbing expedition leader who gave us, as Foley put it, "chick on chick CPR" in his first sketch

Edie McClurg who played a funny wife in marriage counseling

Richard Kind-Just plain awful...perhaps put there to illustrate how hard improve can be-as a morning show sound effects guy. GOOD JOB by the cast to nail the ZOO radio format.

In Your Heart You Must Trust-_Bruce Springsteen

The World Today
He went to the Mustang Ranch, and it burned when he peed ..but not like that.

The World Tomorrow
Teeny Tiny Scissors that Tiny Elvis shouldnt run with

TV, Movies, Media

A Better Video Search Engine...Google says WHAAAAA????

A Laugh License plate spied on a broken-down car on the side of the road: CALLAAA. On the freeway I noticed a motor home towing a sport utility vehicle. The license plate on the SUV was FNCYFRE. The plate on the motor home was FTLOOSE.

A Quote THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a god! "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."


Some Boss Lyrics

Bruce Springsteen -Leap Of Faith

All over the world the rain was pourin'
I was scratchin' where it itched
Oh heartbreak and despair got nothing but boring
So I grabbed you baby like a wild pitch

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust

Now your legs were heaven your breasts were the altar
Your body was the holy land
You shouted "jump" but my heart faltered
You laughed and said "Baby don't you understand?"

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust

Now you were the Red Sea I was Moses
I kissed you and slipped into a bed of roses
The waters parted and love rushed inside
I was Jesus' son sanctified

Tonight the moon's looking young but I'm feelin' younger
'Neath a veil of dreams sweet blessings rain
Honey I can feel the first breeze of summer
And in your love I'm born again

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust