wow

UVA has a new President Theresa Sullivan

University of Michigan’s chief academic officer and chief budget officer will leave her post to become the eighth president at University of Virginia.  Her name is Theresa Sullivan, and what UVA fans want to know is whether or not she will do what it takes to upgrade the athletic programs while holding on the the academic standards .  Seems like a good time for UVA WAHOO JOKES especially for Hokie Fans everywhere and a welcome to Theresa Sullivan.

Do you know why the UVA football team should change its name to the "Possums"?
- Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Why doesn't UVA have ice on the sidelines?
- The guy with the recipe graduated.
What do you get when you drive slowly by the UVA campus?
- A degree.
How do you get a UVA graduate off your porch?
- Pay him for the pizza.
Why is it that the UVA football team doesn't have a web site?
- They can't string three "Ws" together.
Did you hear that a UVA player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident?
- He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death.
   Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
What are the best four years of a UVA student's life?
Third grade.
Johnny says to his mom: I want to be a Wahoo when I grow up.
- Mom: But Johnny, you can't do both.
A Virginia Tech student and a UVA student are both using the men's room. When they finish their business, the Virginia Tech student heads for the door, while the UVA student heads for the sink. The Wahoo calls to the Virginia Tech student, "At UVA, they teach us to wash our hands after using the bathroom."
The Virginia Tech student replies, "At Virginia Tech, they teach us not to pee on our hands."
I heard that George Welsh was only dressing twenty-two players against Virginia Tech.
- He said the rest could dress themselves!
How many Wahoos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- One, but he gets 3 credit hours.
What is the difference between a Wahoo and Rice Crispies?
- Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.
Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
- On the UVA campus. That's the last place you'd find a football player.
Why don't Wahoos let their kids play in sand boxes?
- Because the cats keep covering them up.
A Wahoo walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?"
- The frog replies, 'I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt.'
Why do Wahoos keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
- So they can park in handicap spaces.
What is orange, blue, 100 yards wide, and has 2 teeth?
- The front row at Scott stadium.
What do you call a good looking girl on the UVA campus?
- A visitor.
What did the UVA graduate say to the VT graduate upon meeting?
- Hi! Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order please?
What do you call 144 Wahoos?
- Gross ignorance.
Did you hear about the power outage at the UVA library?
- Forty Wahoos were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Did you hear about the fire in UVA's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
- The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Why did Dean Smith go to Charlottesville?
- He wanted to get away from basketball.
Did you hear the Rolling Stones are playing at UVA's Scott stadium?
- Yeah, They're 10-point favorites.
Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the UVA campus?
- The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.
What do a UVA student and a Virginia Tech student have in common?
- They both got accepted to UVA.
What does the average UVA student get on his SAT?
- Drool.
What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a Wahoo?
- Six more weeks of bad football.
Virginia Tech is playing at UVA, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. A UVA fan sets off a firecracker, and Virginia Tech, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field.
- Three plays later,UVA punts.
What should you do if you find three Wahoos buried up to their necks in cement?
- Get more cement!
How do you make Wahoo cookies?
- Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours!
What do UVA grads and tornadoes have in common?
- They both move around a lot, but they all wind up in trailer parks.
Why did UVA rise in the rankings this past week?
- Because the sportswriters and coaches considered 'BYE' as tougher than any other opponent UVA has played so far this season.
How many UVA freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
- None, it's a sophomore course.
What's the difference between a Cavalier and a carp?
- One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
George Welsh, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded UVA flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, George," said God. "This is very special - not everyone gets a house up here." George felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Burgundy and Orange sidewalk, 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Virginia Tech logo flag, and in every window, VT curtains.
George looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a darn good coach, I won several bowl games, and I even went to the College Football Hall of Fame."
God said, "So what do you want to know, George?"
"Well, why does Frank Beamer get a better house than me?"
God chuckled and said, "George, that's not Frank Beamer's house......
It's mine."
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Jay Leno was no math for 10pm

Jay's walking off prime time. Confirming days of rumors, the chairman of NBC  announced that starting Feb. 12, The Jay Leno Show will no longer air at 10 p.m. but that the network hoped to keep Leno for an 11:35 p.m. show, Conan O'Brien for 12:05 p.m. and then Jimmy Fallon after that.  "It's not a done deal yet."  The Jay Leno Show "did not meet affiliate needs" but that through it all, Leno and O'Brien have been "incredibly gracious and professional.  I just can't believe that NBC was not ready to give Jay more time ..but now Letterman can quit the public feeling sorry for himself.  lets just be glad that the whole debacle gave us Jimmy Fallon.
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Best Music Of Glee 1st Season


The GLEE first season Top 25 Best Songs Ranked In Order Countdown to Number One

No. 25 'Rehab,' Vocal Adrenaline
No. 24. 'I Wanna Sex You Up,' Acafellas
No. 23 'Sweet Caroline,' Mark Salling
No. 22 'Gold Digger,' New Directions
No. 21 'Single Ladies,' the football team
No. 20 'Halo'/'Walking on Sunshine,' New Directions (girls)
No. 19 'No Air,' New Directions
No. 18 'Keep Holding On,' New Directions
No. 17 'My Life Would Suck Without You,' New Directions
No. 16 'Bust a Move,' Matthew Morrison
No. 15 'Alone,' Kristin Chenoweth and Matt Morrison
No. 14 'True Colors,' New Directions
No. 13 'Smile' (Charlie Chaplin version), Lea Michele
No. 12 'Don't Stand So Close to Me'/'Young Girl,' Matthew Morrison
No. 11 'Proud Mary,' New Directions
No. 10 'You Can't Always Get What You Want,' New Directions
No. 9 'Maybe This Time,' Kristin Chenoweth and Lea Michele
No. 8 'Take a Bow,' Lea Michele
No. 7 'Poison,' Acafellas
No. 6 'Somebody to Love,' New Directions
No. 5 'Don't Rain on My Parade,' Lea Michele
No. 4 'Imagine,' New Directions and Haverbrook Deaf Choir
No. 3 'And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going,' Amber Riley
No.2 Defying Gravity, Chris Colfer and Lea Michele
No. 1 'Don't Stop Believing,' New Directions
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THINGS YOU LEARN FROM THE MOVIES

1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

3) The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

4) When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

5) Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

6) Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

7) A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.

8) It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

9) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

10)It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

11) Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

12) An electric fence powerful enough to kill a large dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

13) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

14) It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German you need not speak the language. A German accent will do.

16) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

17) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

18) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

19) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

20) If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade- at any time of the year.

21) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

22) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.



23) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

24) Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

25) Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

26) If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

27) Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

28) Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

29) All single women have a cat.

30) Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

31) One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

32) Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

33) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

34) Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them

35) When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

36) Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

37) Whenever a natural or man-made disater is about to occur, the hero escapes (alive) nano second before its too late and is catupulted into the air by the force- but is never harmed

38) No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

39) If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

40) You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.

41) All Americans have phones which can reach throughout the house-even if it has a cord. If its cordless- you can pick up perfect reception all around the house...unless there is a insane killer about

42) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

43) Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.

44) Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.

45) Building ventilation ducts are always clean.

46) Film stars are always super-human- they never need to use the bathroom

47) Any computer, anywhere, even in the jungle, can hack into the most secure goverment system.

48) Any aliens from outer space that you meet will speak your language.

49) No matter how many times you punch someone they will always come back for more - and their wounds have healed dramtically the next day

50) All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

51) All handcuffs can easily be opened with nothing more than a paper clip.

52) Grocery shopping bags are made out of brown paper and there is always enough shopping to fill two bags exactly.

53) If you need to open a locked door make sure you have a credit card handy, that will do. Unless its the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

54) If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

55) If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

56) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

57) No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

58) When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

59) Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

60) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

61) Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

62) Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

63) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

64) Even if you've been set up for murder, been framed and you have the whole world wide police force hunting you down, you will automatically live happliy ever after aslong as you break away from the police and kill the bad guy.

65) If you desire to send any car into flame for any given reason, just shoot it three times, even though in real life you could stand right infront of a vechile and shoot the gun into the gas tank, it wouldnt ignite the fuel, only 1 or 2 bullets in the world can cause a spark, and it seems every police man in movies who blow up vehicles have those bullets!

66) Any woman who has just witnessed her father ,(brother, husband, fammily member ect) killed right there infront of her, will never be traumatised , morn, or be effected in anyway to resist making love to the hero who saved her!

68) Why when the hero of the movie gets the girl at the end , it seems like they will live happily ever after, yet dosent even mention her name or remember her in sequals!

69)You never need to look up the phone number for the pizza delivery service and the delivery guy is always psycic -you never need to tell him where you live or what you want on your pizza.

70) After witnessing a horrible crime being committed- don't call the cops, instead conduct your own Private Eye investigation.

71) If a lifetime of watching movies has taught me anything at all, it's to MAKE SURE that a captured secret agent is dead BEFORE you walk away from your miscellaneous torture device.

72) That, and to always look behind you when you hear menacing violin music begin to play.

73) In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.

74) Rather than wasting bullets, Megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

75) Never disarm a bomb unless it has one second left on the timer. The same goes for escaping from areas with a timed locking mechanism.

76) Always trust the most annoying person you can find because he/she will always survive.

77) If you are being chased by zombies run as fast as you can, even though they can barely walk they will still catch up with you.

78) Secret agents cannot drown because they have special lungs that allow them to breathe forever.

79) If someone you love dies then start mourning and crying, doing so will mean that they will then magically appear in front of you!

80) If someone or something is about to kill you and you have a gun then you are screwed because even if you have a loaded gun, the bullets will mysteriously disappear once you start shooting.

81) If you are in a vehicle and you have a vision of a huge accident and then get out of it then beware, because afterwards, any random object could kill you in any random way. (From Final Destination)

82) If your wife is having an affair, never kill the person she is having it with, you may have to eat him the next day.(From The Cook, The Wife, The Thief and Her Lover)

83) No matter what your mission is you will be given the lastest gadget (or have it installed in your car), which will be the exact thing you need to complete your mission (and it will always work). Also no matter how much experince and trainning someone has shoting, they will always miss the hero.

84) No matter how fast someone runs through the woods, the killer will be able to walk and manage to get just in front of the person as they fall or turn around.

85) All of the killers victims will fall out of trees and become visible only when the last person alive is running for their lives.

86) Being a camp counsellor at a summer camp is as good as a death sentence

87) All zombies roaming the streets have only been bit once or twice, yet when a zombie gets someone on screen they always tear them to pieces
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Why Legalize Marujuana ??? California ? Florida ?

Legalize it ?

When considering the legalization of marijuana, consider these facts.

1919: United States enters prohibition era, banning alcohol.
1920-1932: United States spends enormous amounts of money and time fighting bootleggers and the rise of organized crime.
1933: United States "learns its lesson," and repeals prohibition.
1937: Four years later, United States bans marijuana.
2009: Over 20 billion dollars spent on the War on Drugs so far this year alone in the United States.

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Mad World from Adam Lambert -Tears For Fears Lyrics

"Mad World"
Tears for Fears
covered by Adam Lambert on American Idol

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
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who is tom whitnah, makinde adeagbo and Charlotte Carnevale

Just wondering who are are Blake Ross, Tom Whitnah , Makinde Adeagbo , Rob Goodlatte , charlotte Carnevale . They are all friends of Ben ..and on facebook he is the new demonstration page for the new direction of Facebook. The filters are a good idea .... TRYING TO COIN OR CORNER "THE STREAM" AS THEIR OWN.
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