Sadaam Hussein Execution Video

For anyone who had a hard time finding the video .... shaky cellphone video is found here of the actual execution
This is the best video retrospective of President Bush Snafu's, Gaffs, and guffaws . Enjoy!

Kids Jokes

Childrens JOkes

For The Kids...
Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!

Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!

Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With it's sparrowchute!

Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody Wood Pickle!

Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!

Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A: A Macaw!

Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?
A: A mynah bird!

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!

Belinda Stronach

The New Girlfriend ???

Apparently Bill Clinton is at it again ...the new woman is Belinda Stronach .. the new Monica Lewinsky ? Any Pictures of the Blue Dress of 2006 coming into the limelight ?

What will Hillary Do ? CATFIGHT !

Funny Baby Reading

KT Tunstall and Storm Large links

A couple of pages I thought would be of interest to this group.
KT TUNSTALL fanpage has lots of links and good info

STORM LARGE of CBS Rockstar TRibute page is mostly pictures for now --but they aint hard to look at at all


....thought for the day

Friendship is like peeing your pants.......
Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's warmth

good wedding songs for first dance

1. Amazed Lonestar
2. From This Moment On Shania Twain
3. At Last Etta James
4. Because You Loved Me Celine Dion
5. I Cross my Heart George Strait
6. It's Your Love Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
7. Wonderful Tonight Eric Clapton
8. Have I Told You Lately Rod Stewart or Van Morrison
9. I Swear Michael Montgomery
10. Unchained Melody Righteous Brothers
11. I Knew I Loved You Savage Garden
12. Always and Forever Heatwave
13. The Way You Look Tonight Frank Sinatra
14. I Swear All-For-One
15. True Companion Mark Cohn
16. Endless Love Lionel Richie & Diana Ross
17. I Do (Cherish You) 98 Degrees
18. It had to be You Harry Connick Jr.
19. Could I Have This Dance Anne Murray
20. Here and Now Luther Vandross
21. Truly, Madly, Deeply Savage Garden
22. Everything I Do Bryan Adams
23. Always Atlantic Starr
24. I Could Not Ask For More Edwin McCain
25. All My Life K-C & JoJo
26. This I Swear Nick Lachey
27. Beautiful in My Eyes Joshua Kadison
28. When a Man Loves a Woman Percy Sledge or Michael Bolton
29. Breathe Faith Hill
30. What a Wonderful World Louis Armstrong
31. Can't Help Falling In Love Elvis Presley
32. Unforgettable Nat King Cole & Natalie
33. My Heart Will Go On Celine Dion
34. My Last Name Dierks Bentley
35. I Finally Found Someone Barbara Streisand
36. Love of a Lifetime Firehouse
37. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing Aerosmith
38. Grow Old With Me Mary-Chapin Carpenter
39. When You Say Nothing at All Alison Krauss
40. This I Promise You N' Sync

Floyd Landis "say it aint so Joe" becomes "Say it aint roids Floyd"

Floyd Landis

I just wish I hadn't cared. I frankly do not care about the tour de france unless a great american cancer survivor is winning it every year ...sticking it to the french who keep accusing him of but can't prove that he ever cheated. This sucks...completely ...because I actually cared .... Landis was another great story ..completely bum hip and miraculously came from 8 minutes behind to contend for the lead that he eventually overtook ..with a little help.

"The Swiss-based Phonak team said it was notified by the UCI on Wednesday that Landis' sample showed "an unusual level of testosterone/epitestosterone" when he was tested after stage 17 of the race last Thursday." "Testosterone is included as an anabolic steroid on WADA's list of banned substances, and its use can be punished by a two-year ban."

I mean.... if it proves out that he did it ...HE HAD TO KNOW HE WOULD GET CAUGHT. And ... A MENNONITE !!! The French would almost plant the evidence... but wait you think that might be the thing ? I doubt it bad as the French want to shed an American in this shameful light, I doubt they would risk exposing themselves as trying to cheat a "cheater" ..cause...OF COURSE THEY WOULD KNOW THAT THEY WOULD GET CAUGHT.

Bigger implication here is that in the worlds eye ...this would tarnish Lance Armstrong as well by association ...terrible door being opened here.

Biggest from hero to zero story in a very long while if its true ..wait for the B sample and then.... Landis...give us at least a Jimmy Swaggert lip quiver

summer 2006 close encounter with mars

from an email i got

"The Red Planet is about to be spectacular!

This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.

The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within
34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Share this with your children and grandchildren.

Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.

By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m. That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history.. So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month.


Cult Movies List - Wizard Of Oz Wins

All Time Best Cult Movies
A List of a few that could grow

Wizard Of Oz
Monty Python & The Holy Grail
Spinal Tap
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Shawshank Redemption
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Dazed & Confused
Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Big Lebowski


2nd generation sportage
great pricing
a little roomier
premium sedan
jd power most appealing mid-size car
Stepping up a notch from the midsize Kia Optima, the South Korean automaker introduced this new full-size near-luxury sedan after the 2004 model year began. Fitted with a 3.5-liter V-6 engine, the front-wheel-drive Amanti is priced for value

safest mini van ever built


Sadler Bolts Yates

elliot sadler--the former jmu student on the nascar circuit is leaving yates racing at the end of this year. yates is also losing dale jarret to michael waltrips team at the end of the owner robert yates said in a statement that he is looking forward to finding a new driver for sadlers number 38it probably won't be danica patrick...who despiten speculation about her heading to nascar after this year, says she is leaning toward staying in the indycar series and making progress toward a new deal for next season.

Oprah Says She Isn't Gay

This is from

Oprah Winfrey has hit back at ongoing reports she's gay by insisting she would have already told fans if the rumors were true. The media mogul has often been linked romantically with best friend and business partner Gayle King, but both claim they wouldn't have kept an affair secret. In the August issue of Winfrey's lifestyle magazine O, the Oprah Magazine, the talk show accepts that some people misunderstand her close friendship with King, but insists they are not a lesbian couple. She says, "I understand why people think we're gay. There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it: 'How can you be this close without it being sexual?'" King adds, "The truth is, if we were gay, we would tell you, because there's nothing wrong with being gay." In the article, Winfrey and King chat about their 30-year friendship, admitting they often speak four times a day on the phone when they're not in the same city. Winfrey states, "Something about this relationship feels otherworldly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own. Whatever this friendship is, it's been a very fun ride."

I know of Rosie O'Donnell fans who were among the type who frown on the "Ellen Degeres's" of the world who absolutely quit watching and, frankly, quit loving Rosie when she came out ... so I am not surprised that if she IS that she would not tell anyone. Oprah has ..excepting her diets ... avoided scandal for the most part in her rise to and stronghold on the top ... Absolutely someone to avoid controversy at most all costs.

Adam The Healer is his webpage. Not sure after the ABC 20 / 20 story on July 13, 2006? He says what he says and people believe what they believe...but he ultimately says on his website NOT to replace his healing with the advice of your physician. He says he changes his brainwave activity at will on his website and claims he has scientific proof he does this. It says
"Healing energetic fields or influence, on the other hand, should show a brainwave specificity that is unique. One should observe changes in brain function that are not simply indicators of a more relaxed or focused target person. Further, although this remains to be researched, one might expect to find changes in brainwave activity that are specific to the target person’s disorder. For example, there are forms of depression that are associated with specific brainwave patterns in the frontal regions of the brain. If a healer is addressing the depression then one would expect changes in brainwave activity specific to the target person’s type of depression"

Time will tell about Adam The Healer

Jimmy V Don't Ever Give Up

If you are looking for an mp3 of Jim Valvano's famous speech at the ESPY's "DON"T EVER GIVE UP" from about 2 months before he died, the link is here.

ESPN Radio is doing their auction to raise money for Cancer Research. GIVE !

KABC Mcintyre Apology

Mcentire radio apology / Mcintyre in the Morning apology

By Doug McIntyre

Host, McIntyre in the Morning

Talk Radio 790 KABC

There’s nothing harder in public life than admitting you’re wrong. By the way, admitting you’re wrong can be even tougher in private life. If you don’t believe me, just ask Bill Clinton or Charlie Sheen. But when you go out on the limb in public, it’s out there where everyone can see it, or in my case, hear it.

So, I’m saying today, I was wrong to have voted for George W. Bush. In historic terms, I believe George W. Bush is the worst two-term President in the history of the country. Worse than Grant. I also believe a case can be made that he’s the worst President, period.

In 2000, I was a McCain guy. I wasn’t sure about the Texas Governor. He had name recognition and a lot of money behind him, but other than that? What? Still, I was sick of all the Clinton shenanigans and the thought of President Gore was… unthinkable. So, GWB became my guy.

For the first few months he was just flubbing along like most new Presidents, no great shakes, but no disasters either. He cut taxes and I like tax cuts.

Then September 11th happened. September 11th changed everything for me, like it did for so many of you. After September 11th, all the intramural idiocy of American politics stopped being funny. We had been attacked by a vicious and determined enemy and it was time for all of us to row in the same direction.

And we did for the blink of an eye. I believed the President when he said we were going to hunt down Bin Laden and all those responsible for the 9-11 murders. I believed President Bush when he said we would go after the terrorists and the nations that harbored them.

I supported the President when he sent our troops into Afghanistan, after all, that’s where the Taliban was, that’s where al-Qaida trained the killers, that’s where Bin Laden was.

And I cheered when we quickly toppled the Taliban government, but winced when we let Bin Laden escape from Tora-Bora.

Then, the talk turned to Iraq and I winced again.

I thought the connection to 9-11 was sketchy at best. But Colin Powell impressed me at the UN, and Tony Blair was in, and after all, he was a Clinton guy, not a Bush guy, so I thought the case had to be strong. I was worried though, because I had read the Wolfowitz paper, “The Project for the New American Century.” It’s been around since ‘92, and it raised alarm bells because it was based on a theory, “Democratizing the Middle East” and I prefer pragmatism over theory. I was worried because Iraq was being justified on a radical new basis, “pre-emptive war.” Any time we do something without historical precedent I get nervous.

But the President shifted the argument to WMDs and the urgent threat of Iraq getting atomic weapons. The debate turned to Saddam passing nukes on to terror groups. After 9-11, the risk was too great. As the President said, “The next smoking gun might be a mushroom cloud.” At least that’s what I thought at the time.

I grew up in New York and watched them build the World Trade Center. I worked with a guy, Frank O’Brien, who put the elevators in both towers. I lost a very close friend on September 11th. 103 floor, tower one, Cantor Fitzgerald. Tim Coughlin was his name. If we had to take out Iraq to make sure something like that, or worse, never happened again, so be it. I knew the consequences. We have a soldier in our house. None of this was theoretical in my house.

But in the months and years since shock and awe I have been shocked repeatedly by a consistent litany of excuses, alibis, double-talk, inaccuracies, bogus predictions, and flat out lies. I have watched as the President and his administration changed the goals, redefined the reasons for going into Iraq, and fumbled the good will of the world and the focus necessary to catch the real killers of September 11th.

I have watched the President say the commanders on the ground will make the battlefield decisions, and the war won’t be run from Washington. Yet, politics has consistently determined what the troops can and can’t do on the ground and any commander who did not go along with the administration was sacked, and in some cases, maligned.

I watched and tried to justify the looting in Iraq after the fall of Saddam. I watched and tried to justify the dismantling of the entire Iraqi army. I tired to explain the complexities of building a functional new Iraqi army. I urged patience when no WMDs were found. Then the Vice President told us we were in the “waning days of the insurgency.” And I started wincing again. The President says we have to stay the course but what if it’s the wrong course?

It was the wrong course. All of it was wrong. We are not on the road to victory. We’re about to slink home with our tail between our legs, leaving civil war in Iraq and a nuclear armed Iran in our wake. Bali was bombed. Madrid was bombed. London was bombed. And Bin Laden is still making tapes. It’s unspeakable. The liberal media didn’t create this reality, bad policy did.

Most historians believe it takes 30-50 years before we get a reasonably accurate take on a President’s place in history. So, maybe 50 years from now Iraq will be a peaceful member of the brotherhood of nations and George W. Bush will be celebrated as a visionary genius.

But we don’t live fifty years in the future. We live now. We have to make public policy decisions now. We have to live with the consequences of the votes we cast and the leaders we chose now.

After five years of carefully watching George W. Bush I’ve reached the conclusion he’s either grossly incompetent, or a hand puppet for a gaggle of detached theorists with their own private view of how the world works. Or both.

Presidential failures. James Buchanan, Franklin Pierce, Jimmy Carter, Warren Harding-— the competition is fierce for the worst of the worst. Still, the damage this President has done is enormous. It will take decades to undo, and that’s assuming we do everything right from now on. His mistakes have global implications, while the other failed Presidents mostly authored domestic embarrassments.

And speaking of domestic embarrassments, let’s talk for a minute about President Bush’s domestic record. Yes, he cut taxes. But tax cuts combined with reckless spending and borrowing is criminal mismanagement of the public’s money. We’re drunk at the mall with our great grandchildren’s credit cards. Whatever happened to the party of fiscal responsibility?

Bush created a giant new entitlement, the prescription drug plan. He lied to his own party to get it passed. He lied to the country about its true cost. It was written by and for the pharmaceutical industry. It helps nobody except the multinationals that lobbied for it. So much for smaller government. In fact, virtually every tentacle of government has grown exponentially under Bush. Unless, of course, it was an agency to look after the public interest, or environmental protection, and/or worker’s rights.

I’ve talked so often about the border issue, I won’t bore you with a rehash. It’s enough to say this President has been a catastrophe for the wages of working people; he’s debased the work ethic itself. “Jobs Americans won’t do!” He doesn’t believe in the sovereign borders of the country he’s sworn to protect and defend. And his devotion to cheap labor for his corporate benefactors, along with his worship of multinational trade deals, makes an utter mockery of homeland security in a post 9-11 world. The President’s January 7th, 2004 speech on immigration, his first trial balloon on his guest worker scheme, was a deal breaker for me. I couldn’t and didn’t vote for him in 2004. And I’m glad I didn’t.

Katrina, Harriet Myers, The Dubai Port Deal, skyrocketing gas prices, shrinking wages for working people, staggering debt, astronomical foreign debt, outsourcing, open borders, contempt for the opinion of the American people, the war on science, media manipulation, faith based initives, a cavalier attitude toward fundamental freedoms-- this President has run the most arrogant and out-of-touch administration in my lifetime, perhaps, in any American’s lifetime.

You can make a case that Abraham Lincoln did what he had to do, the public be damned. If you roll the dice on your gut and you’re right, history remembers you well. But, when your gut led you from one business failure to another, when your gut told you to trade Sammy Sosa to the White Sox, and you use the same gut to send our sons and daughters to fight and die in a distraction from the real war on terror, then history will and should be unapologetic in its condemnation.

None of this, by the way, should be interpreted as an endorsement of the opposition party. The Democrats are equally bankrupt. This is the second crime of our age. Again, historically speaking, its times like these when America needs a vibrant opposition to check the power of a run-amuck majority party. It requires it. It doesn’t work without one. Like the high and low tides keep the oceans alive, a healthy, positive opposition offers a path back to the center where all healthy societies live.

Tragically, the Democrats have allowed crackpots, leftists and demagogic cowards to snipe from the sidelines while taking no responsibility for anything. In fairness, I don’t believe a Democrat president would have gone into Iraq. Unfortunately, I don’t know if President Gore would have gone into Afghanistan. And that’s one of the many problems with the Democrats.

The two party system has always been clumsy and imperfect, but it has only collapsed once, in the 1850s, and the result was civil war.

I believe, as I have said countless times, the two party system is on the brink of a second collapse. It’s currently running on spin, anger, revenge, and pots and pots and pots of money.

We’re being governed by paper-mache patriots; brightly painted red, white and blue, but hollow to the core. Both parties have mastered the cynical arts of media manipulation and fund raising. They’ve learned the lessons of Watergate and burn the tapes. They have learned to divide the nation for their own gain. They have demonstrated the willingness to exploit any tragedy for personal advantage. The contempt they have for the American people is without parallel.

This is painful to say, and I’m sure for many of you, painful to read. But it’s impossible to heal the country until we’re willing to acknowledge the truth no matter how painful. We have to wean ourselves off sugar coated partisan lies.

With a belated tip of the cap to Ralph Nader, the system is broken, so broken, it’s almost inevitable it pukes up the Al Gores and George W. Bushes. Where are the Trumans and the Eisenhowers? Where are the men and women of vision and accomplishment? Why do we have to settle for recycled hacks and malleable ciphers? Greatness is always rare, but is basic competence and simple honesty too much to ask?

It may be decades before we have the full picture of how paranoid and contemptuous this administration has been. And I am open to the possibility that I’m all wet about everything I’ve just said. But I’m putting it out there, because I have to call it as I see it, and this is how I see it today. I don’t say any of this lightly. I’ve thought about this for months and months. But eventually, the weight of evidence takes on a gravitational force of its own.

I believe that George W. Bush has taken us down a terrible road. I don’t believe the Democrats are offering an alternative. That means we’re on our own to save this magnificent country. The United States of America is a gift to the world, but it has been badly abused and it’s rightful owners, We the People, had better step up to the plate and reclaim it before the damage becomes irreparable.

So, accept my apology for allowing partisanship to blind me to an obvious truth; our President is incapable of the tasks he is charged with. I almost feel sorry for him. He is clearly in over his head. Yet, he doesn’t generate the sympathy Warren Harding earned. Harding, a spectacular mediocrity, had the self-knowledge to tell any and all he shouldn’t be President. George W. Bush continues to act the part, but at this point whose buying the act?

Does this make me a waffler? A flip-flopper? Maybe, although I prefer to call it realism. And, for those of you who never supported Bush, its also fair to accuse me of kicking Bush while he’s down. After all, you were kicking him while he was up.

You were right, I was wrong.

The Boston Red Sox

Facts About The Boston Red Sox

Most Red Sox Fans believe that the Yankees do indeed, and especially if named Derek Jeter, SUCK.

Won the world series in the following years, 1903, 1912, 1915, 1916, 1918, 2004

Greatest Players Ted Williams, Carl Yazstremsky, (yaz) and NOT Bill Buckner

Jesus Insurance ?

From ABC News ..this story



performance evaulations

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have
been worse. These are actual quotes taken from federal government employee
performance evaluations.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has
started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking
for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 others."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.*

to better your credit score--a tip

Lenders like to see that you are able to responsibly use your credit below the available limit. Reducing your debt below 35% of your available credit limit can boost your credit score a few points
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have confirmed media reports they have returned home to Australia to marry. The Moulin Rouge actress is expected to exchange vows with country singer Urban at Sydney's Mary MacKillop chapel on Sunday before jetting off to honeymoon in Fiji. The happy couple say in a statement: "We are very happy to be back in Australia. We have come home to celebrate our wedding with our family and friends." Pictures broadcast on Australian TV showed Kidman leaving her private jet in Sydney early yesterday morning, but New Zealand-born Urban was not seen in the footage. Kidman's mother and father have already visited their daughter at her Sydney home, and the property is protected from paparazzi photographers by tight security. More than 200 guests are expected at the ceremony, including Naomi Watts, Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe and Baz Luhrmann. All guests have been asked not to buy the couple who has everything a gift, but to donate money to charities they support. Kidman has reportedly booked out the entire Wakaya Club Resort in Fiji, where Rolling Stones rocker Keith Richards was staying when he fell from a tree and injured his head.

A Boy And His Fishing Pole

 A Little Boy & His Fishing Pole
 This true story is about someone in Indiana passed on to one pause for thought....

 Howard County Sheriff Jerry Marr got a disturbing call one Saturday afternoon a few months ago.

 His 6-year-old grandson Mikey had been hit by a car while fishing with his dad. The father and son were near a bridge by the Kokomo Reservoir when a woman lost control of her car, slid off the bridge and hit Mikey at a rate of about 50 mph.

 Sheriff Marr had seen the results of accidents like this and feared the worst. When he got to Saint Joseph Hospital, he rushed through the emergency room to find Mikey conscious and in fairly good spirits.

 "Mikey, what happened?" Sheriff Marr asked.

 Mikey replied, "Well, Papaw, I was fishin' with Dad, and some lady runned me over, I flew into a mud puddle, and broke my fishin' pole and I didn't get to catch no fish!"

 As it turned out, the impact propelled Mikey about 500 feet, over a few
trees and an embankment and in the middle of a mud puddle. His only injuries were to his right femur bone which had broken in two places. Mikey had surgery to place pins in his leg. Otherwise the boy is fine.

 Since all the boy could talk about was that his fishing pole was broken, the Sheriff went out to Wal-mart and bought him a new one while he was in surgery so he could have it when he came out.

 The next day the Sheriff sat with Mikey to keep him company in the hospital. Mikey was enjoying his new fishing pole and talked about when he could go fishing again as he cast into the trash can.

 When they were alone, Mikey matter-of-factly said, "Papaw, did you know Jesus is real?"

 "Well," the Sheriff replied, a little startled. "Yes, Jesus is real to all who believe in him and love him in their hearts."

 "No," said Mikey. "I mean Jesus is REALLY real."

 "What do you mean?" asked the Sheriff.

 "I know he's real 'cause I saw him, "said Mikey, still casting into the trash can.

 "You did?" said the Sheriff.

 "Yep," said Mikey. "When that lady runned me over and broke my fishing pole, Jesus caught me in his arms and laid me down in the mud puddle."

Check out today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM. All on demand. Always Free.

Profiling ???

   Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the
   following multiple choice test. The events are actual
   Events from history. They actually happened!
                    Do you remember?
1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by
   a. Superman
   b. Jay Leno
   c. Harry Potter
   d. a Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40
2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by
   a. Olga Corbett
   b. Sitting Bull
Arnold Schwarzenegger
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
3. In 1979, the
US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
   a. Lost Norwegians
   b. Elvis
   c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in
Lebanon by:
   a. John Dillinger
   b. The King of
   c. The Boy Scouts
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of    17 and 40
5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in
Beirut was blown up by:
   a. A pizza delivery boy
   b. Pee Wee Herman
   c. Geraldo Rivera
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year
   old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard
   in his wheelchair by:
   a. The Smurfs
   b. Davy Jones
   c. The Little Mermaid
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at
Athens, and a US Navy
    diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
   a. Captain Kidd
   b. Charles Lindberg
   c. Mother Teresa
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
   a. Scooby Doo
   b. The Tooth Fairy
   c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
9. In 1993 the
World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
   a. Richard Simmons
   b. Grandma Moses
   c. Michael Jordan
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
10. In 1998, the
US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
   a. Mr. Rogers
   b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
   c. The World Wrestling Federation
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
11. On
9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were
   used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers
   and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon
   and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers.
   Thousands of people were killed by:
   a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
   b. The Supreme Court of
   c. Mr. Bean
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
12. In 2002 the
United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
   a. Enron
   b. The
Lutheran Church
   c. The NFL
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
   a. Bonnie and
   b. Captain Kangaroo
   c. Billy Graham
   d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
   Nope, ..I really don't see a pattern here to justify
   profiling, do you? 

Check out today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM. All on demand. Always Free.

World Cup Is On The Way

Signs the World Cup Is About to Start

world cup soccer

5> America shifts its attention from ignoring hockey to ignoring

4> Hookers in Germany are practicing bending it like Beckham.

3> You are now permanently barred from Benihana after
head-butting a hot shrimp back into the chef's eye.

2> Aaron Neville paints that thing on his forehead to look like
a soccer ball.

Number 1 Sign the World Cup Is About to Start...

1> Italian soccer officials start listing themselves for sale
on eBay.

Bruce Springsteen :We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions :'Erie Canal' (Live)

Bruce Springsteen :We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions :'Erie Canal' (Live)

Alec Baldwin Things That Are Great as Tony Bennett

I love things that are great
Good things are fantastic.
Guess what - I also paint as a hobby
Nothing drastic.
'Cause I dig everything except things that I don't
And I'll try anything except the things I say I won't.
But one thing's for sure
I like things [ scatting ] that are great!"
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:  
With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,
"Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Some Nice Things To Say About Kia Motors

sedonaCOMPLETELY REDISIGNED5 star crash tested NHTSA top safety pick 2006 gold "best mini-van we've ever tested according to Insurance Institutepowerful engine3.8 Litre v6available dual power sliding doorsfold in the floor 3rd row seatsyou will love the power lift gate
starts at 23,665STATE OF THE ART MINIVAN
sorento --mid size SUV with all the qualities you want
3.5 litre v6 engine5 star side impact safety ratingstarts at under 20,000

sportage --cpmpletely redisgned and ready to impressCompact SUVthey sold alot of these BEFORE they were its even better
spectra a car you can afford to lovewhat a great price--starting at around 15
AMANTI Premium sedan with 8 airbags including full length side curtain airbags


President Logan Is The Worst Ever ?

President H.W. Bush can breathe a sigh of relief .... and even Rush Limbaugh would have to say that neither Bush nor Bill Clinton is t the worst president ever, as has been the stated case in a famous email forward making the rounds these days. Seems the worst president ever ..and I have to agree ... is President Charles Logan on the series 24, Keifer Sutherlands arch nemisis on the Fox Network every Monday night.Here is the article from CNN.

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover Models By Year

1964 - Babette March
1965 - Sue Peterson
1966 - Sonny Bippus
1967 - Marilyn Tindall
1968 - Turia Mau
1969 - Jamee Becker
1970 - Cheryl Tiegs
1971 - Tannia Rubiano
1972 - Shelia Roscoe
1973 - Dayle Haddon
1974 - Ann Simonton
1975 - Cheryl Tiegs
1976 - Yvette and Yvonne Sylvander
1977 - Lena Kansbod
1978 - Maria Joao
1979 - Christie Brinkley
1980 - Christie Brinkley
1981 - Christie Brinkley
1982 - Carol Alt
1983 - Cheryl Tiegs
1984 - Paulina Porizkova
1985 - Paulina Porizkova
1986 - Elle Macpherson
1987 - Elle Macpherson
1988 - Elle Macpherson
1989 - Kathy Ireland
1990 - Judit Masco
1991 - Ashley Montana
1992 - Kathy Ireland
1993 - Vendela Kirsebom
1994 - Kathy Ireland, Elle Macpherson, and Rachel Hunter
1995 - Daniela Pestova
1996 - Valeria Mazza and Tyra Banks
1997 - Tyra Banks
1998 - Heidi Klum
1999 - Rebecca Romijn
2000 - Daniela Pestova
2001 - Elsa Benitez
2002 - Yamila Diaz
2003 - Petra Němcová
2004 - Veronica Varekova
2005 - Carolyn Murphy
2006 - All-star Past Cover Models

nba or nfl


have been accused of spousal abuse
have been arrested for fraud

have been accused of writing bad checks
have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

have done time for assault

71, repeat 71
cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

have been arrested on drug-related charges

have been arrested for shoplifting

are defendants in lawsuits, and

have been arrested for drunk driving
within the last year

Can you guess
which organization this is?

It's the 535 members of
the United States Congress.
The same group who crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep US in line.

Americans With Disabilites Act Q & A

Whom Does the Act Cover?

Although the ADA defines the term disability, it does not include a list of conditions that are always considered disabilities. Instead, each case is considered on an individual basis. Between 1992 and September 2003, 2.5% of the charges filed and resolved under the ADA involved people with cancer. So, more than 5,000 people with cancer have contacted the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission (EEOC) about disability-related discrimination and had their cases resolved.

However, according to the EEOC, cancer is not always considered a disability.

The ADA protects you when your cancer prevents or severely restricts you from performing the variety of tasks essential to most people's daily lives, such as household chores, bathing, and brushing your teeth. But this disability must be permanent or long term.

However, the ADA also protects you if you had cancer in the past, but are well now; an employer may not discriminate against you because you used to be sick. The ADA also prevents an employer from discriminating against you if he thinks you are sick, even if you aren't.

Does the ADA Apply to My Employer?

Job discrimination against people with disabilities is illegal if practiced by:

Private employers
State and local governments
Employment agencies
Labor organizations
Labor management committees
The law applies to employers with 15 or more employees.

Employees of the US government are not covered under the ADA. However, they are protected under a similar law, which is enforced by the Office of Federal Operations. This office can be reached at (202) 663-4599.

Which Employment Practices Does the ADA Cover?

If you have a disability and are qualified for a job, the ADA makes it illegal for the employers noted above to discriminate in employment practices, such as:

Recruitment and advertising for job openings
Job application and hiring
Job assignments
Lay off
All other employment-related activities, terms, conditions, and privileges
It is unlawful for an employer to take action against you if you advocate for your rights under the ADA. The Act also protects you if you are a victim of discrimination because of your family, business, social, or other type of relationship or association with a person who has a disability. That means an employer cannot discriminate against you because, say, your spouse has cancer.

However, the ADA does not protect your job unconditionally just because you have a disability and are qualified for the job. The employer can terminate an employee with a disability for legitimate business reasons, such as downsizing.

The United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), along with state and local civil rights enforcement agencies, enforces the part of the ADA that covers employment protection.

What Are the Essential Functions of a Job?

If you have a disability, you must be qualified to perform the essential functions or duties of a job in order to be protected from job discrimination by the ADA. Essential functions are the fundamental duties required to do the job. An employer cannot refuse to hire you because your disability prevents you from performing duties that are not essential to the job.

But you must satisfy the employer's requirements for the job such as education, employment experience, skills, or licenses. Employers are not required to lower their job standards to accommodate someone with a disability. Nor do they have to provide personal-use items such as glasses or hearing aids.

And you must be able to perform the essential functions of the job either on your own or with reasonable accommodation (see definition below).

What Is Reasonable Accommodation?

Reasonable accommodation is any change or adjustment to a job or work environment that allows a qualified applicant or employee with a disability to participate in the job application process, to perform the essential functions of a job, or to enjoy benefits and privileges of employment equal to those enjoyed by employees without disabilities. For example, making a reasonable accommodation may include any of the following:
Providing or modifying equipment or devices
Job restructuring
Part-time or modified work schedules
Reassignment to a vacant position
Adjusting or modifying examinations, training materials, or policies
Providing readers and/or interpreters
Making the workplace readily accessible to and usable by people with disabilities
An employer must provide a reasonable accommodation for a qualified applicant or employee with a disability unless the employer can show that making the accommodation would be very difficult or expensive (an "undue hardship"). These factors include the type and cost of the accommodation in relation to the size, resources, nature, and structure of the employer's operation. In general, a larger employer would be expected to make accommodations requiring greater effort or expense than would be required of a smaller employer. The Job Accommodation Network's analysis found that 20% of accommodations involved no cost at all and that 48% of accommodations cost between $1 and $500.

The particular facts of your case will help determine whether an accommodation will enable you to do the job and, if so, what kind of accommodation is needed. Employers do not have to be familiar with the every kind of disability to know whether or how to make a reasonable accommodation. Employers are required to accommodate only those disabilities they know about. The requirement generally will be triggered by a request from a person with a disability, who frequently can suggest an appropriate accommodation.

Accommodations must be made on case-by-case basis because the type and extent of a disability and the requirements of the job will vary in each case. If you do not request an accommodation, the employer is not obligated to provide one. If you request an accommodation, but cannot suggest an appropriate one, you and the employer should work together to identify one. There are also many public and private resources that can provide assistance without cost.

What Are the Obligations of Employers to Accommodate Individuals with Disabilities?

When you apply for a job, employers can’t ask you if you are disabled or ask about the nature or severity of a disability. Employers also may not ask you if you have or have ever had cancer. They can, however, ask you about your ability to perform specific job tasks. An employer can ask you to describe or to demonstrate how, with or without reasonable accommodation, you will perform the duties of the job.

If all new employees in similar jobs have to have a medical examination, a job offer may be given to you on condition of the results of a medical exam. The medical examinations must be job-related and consistent with the employer's business needs. However, an employer cannot reject you because of information about your disability revealed by the medical examination, unless the reasons for rejection are job-related and necessary to conduct the employer's business. The results of all medical examinations must be kept confidential and maintained in separate medical files.

Should I Tell My Employer I Have a Disability?

If you think you will need a reasonable accommodation in order to apply for a job or to perform essential job functions, you should tell the employer that you have a disability. Employers are only required to provide reasonable accommodation if they are aware of the disability. Generally, the employee is responsible for telling the employer that an accommodation is needed. However, you are not required to offer information about any cancer history or disability when you are applying for a job.

Does the Employer Have to Select A Qualified Applicant with A Disability Over Other Qualified Applicants?

No. The ADA does not require an employer to hire an applicant with a disability over other applicants because the person has a disability. The ADA only prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability. It makes it unlawful to refuse to hire a qualified applicant with a disability because he or she is disabled or because a reasonable accommodation is required to make it possible for this person to perform essential job functions.

Do I Have to Pay for It If I Need Reasonable Accommodation?

No. The ADA requires the employer to provide the accommodation unless doing so would impose an undue hardship on the operation of the employer's business. If the cost of providing the needed accommodation would be an undue hardship, you must be given the choice of providing the accommodation yourself or paying for the portion of the accommodation that causes the undue hardship. An employer cannot make up the cost of providing a reasonable accommodation by lowering your salary or paying you less than other employees in similar job positions.

Can an Employer Offer a Health Insurance Policy that Excludes Coverage for Pre-Existing Conditions?

Yes. The ADA does not affect pre-existing condition clauses contained in health insurance policies, even though such clauses may harm employees with disabilities more than other employees. However, other laws may protect employees with pre-existing conditions.

If the Health Insurance Offered by My Employer Does Not Cover All Medical Expenses Related to my Disability, Does the Company Have to Get Additional Coverage for Me?

No. The ADA only requires an employer to provide employees with disabilities equal access to whatever health insurance coverage is offered to other employees. The same is true for employees with cancer or for employees who have family members with cancer or a history of cancer.

Does an Employer Have to Make Non-Work Areas Used by Employees, such as Cafeterias, Lounges, or Employer-Provided Transportation, Accessible to People with Disabilities?

Yes. Employers are required to make reasonable accommodation to all services, programs, and non-work facilities they provide. If making an existing facility accessible would be an undue hardship, the employer must provide a comparable facility that will enable a person with a disability to enjoy the same benefits and privileges of employment as those enjoyed by other employees, unless doing so also would be an undue hardship.

What Should I Do if I Think I’m Being Discriminated Against in an Employment Situation?

If you think you have been discriminated against in an employment practice on the basis of disability, you can file a complaint with an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) field office located in certain cities throughout the United States. See the Resources Section at the end of this document for contact information. If your employer is a state or local government, you should contact the US Department of Justice (see below for more details).

A discrimination charge generally must be filed with the EEOC within 180 days of the alleged discriminatory action. If a state or local law covers discrimination on the basis of disability, the charge must be filed with the proper state or local fair employment practice agency within 300 days of the discriminatory action. EEOC field offices can refer you to the agencies that enforce those laws (see Resources Section.) However, to protect your rights, it is best to contact the EEOC promptly if you suspect discrimination.

If the EEOC determines that you have been discriminated against, you are entitled to a remedy that will place you in the position you would have been in if the discrimination had never occurred. You may be entitled to hiring, promotion, reinstatement, back pay, or reasonable accommodation, including reassignment. You also may be entitled to payment of your legal fees. However, these determinations may take a considerable amount of time depending on the nature of the claim and its resolution.

When the EEOC does not believe discrimination has occurred, or when attempts to reconcile have failed and the EEOC decides not to sue on your behalf, you can request a "right to sue" letter from the EEOC 180 days after filing your complaint. After receiving the notice of right to sue, you have 90 days to file suit.

Best All Time Superbowl Ads

Favorite Super Bowl Ads from page 2
1. Apple: "1984"
(1984)The first Macintosh was introduced in this 60-second Orwellian spot done by "Blade Runner" director Ridley Scott. An auditorium full of spiritless drones watches as "Big Brother" (IBM) prattles on about the anniversary of the "Information Purification Directives" on a gigantic television screen. Suddenly, from the back of the hall, a blonde woman in shorts and a headband comes running toward the screen, hurls a slow-motion sledgehammer (the new Mac) and shatters it. "On Jan. 24, Apple Computer will introduce Macintosh," the voice over says. "And you'll see why 1984 won't be like "1984."
Even now, it's amazing to look at, and has the added bonus of -- get this -- actually having something important to say about the product being plugged.
2. Budweiser: "Frogs" (1995)
A sleepy little backwater swamp on a warm summer night, crickets chirping, fireflies flaring and frogs croaking. Slowly, unless your mind is playing tricks on you, the frog croaks are starting to sound familiar. "Bud." "Weissssss." "Errrrrr." "Buuuuud." "Weeeeiiiiissss." "Er." It's advertising in the round and just like that, a cold, clear Bud is the easiest, most natural thing in the world.
It's easy to make a cute, cuddly animal commercial that folks will love, but a frog commercial?! In the peace and quiet of the swampy summer night, the slimy little critters come off witty and charming.
3. Pepsi: "Apartment 10G" (1987)
A beautiful woman moves in across the hall from Michael J. Fox. When they first meet, she innocently asks for a Diet Pepsi. Eager to oblige, Fox checks the refrigerator, but he's out of luck. He then jumps out his window into a driving rain, dodges traffic to cross the street and reach a vending machine on the other side. Sure enough, there's a Diet Pepsi in it, so he buys it and returns to offer his new friend the drink. "I hope it wasn't too much trouble," she says. Pepsi brought the ad back in 2000 for Fox's final episode of the sitcom "Spin City."
The scenario was a push-button yes -- what guy hasn't had a lovely girl ask him for a trifle, and gone way way out of his way to get it?
4. Xerox: "Monks" (1977)
Brother Dominic finishes duplicating an old manuscript, only to learn that the head monk needs 500 more sets. Dominic heads through a secret doorway to a modern-day copy shop where the Xerox 9200 (which can copy at an amazing rate of two pages per second!) does the job for him. He returns to the monastery and delivers the sets in no time. "It's a miracle," the father says. Brother Dominic smirks skyward.
Once an ad has fun with monks, the flood gates of irreverence are open. This spot is the prelude to every boundary-pushing pitch you see now.
5. McDonald's: "Showdown" (1993)
MJ and Larry Legend go head-to-head in a game of "Horse." The winner gets a Big Mac. Each shot is more spectacular and improbable than the one before. "Off the floor, off the scoreboard, off the backboard, no rim," Bird says, and then does. "Over the second rafter, off the floor, nothing but net," Jordan counters -- it's good. The ad ends with the two of them sitting on top of the Hancock Building and Jordan sinking one "off the expressway, over the river, off the billboard, through the window, off the wall, nothin' but net."
The off-the-scoreboard, off-the-expressway shots are amusing, but the ad works because, given that we're talking about Michael and Larry, they're almost believable.
6. Pepsi: "Diner" (1995)
Two cola truck drivers, one hauling a load of Coke and one a load of Pepsi, meet in a roadside diner. They share a love for the Youngbloods' tune "Get Together," which is playing on the jukebox, share photos of their kids, and then share sips of each other's drinks. The Pepsi guy looks sheepishly around to make sure nobody's looking, sips his new buddy's Coke and passes it back. The Coke driver samples the other guy's Pepsi, but won't give it back. Things get ugly from there.
The perfect antidote to feel-good holiday schlock. Greed is funny.
7. "When I Grow Up" (1999)
Fresh-faced kids look directly into the camera and share their dreams for the future. You're expecting "fireman" and "doctor" and "astronaut," but instead they say, "When I grow up, I want to be a brown nose," and "When I grow up, I want to be in middle management." The ad's a perfect fit for both late-century American ennui and rampant optimism about the Internet. Ah, those were the days.
Horrifying and hilarious at the same time. The kids look smart and ironic while the rest of us come off like dopes.
8. Budweiser: "Cedric" (2001)
Cedric the Entertainer is romancing a very hot date. When it's time to cool off just a little, he eases into the kitchen to grab two bottles of Bud Light from the fridge. Cedric's, um, shall we say, "excited" at the prospect of where the evening might be headed, so he does a little happy dance in the kitchen, accidentally shaking up the bottles in the process. The end of the evening comes too soon when he opens the bottles and the shaken beer explodes all over his date.
This one is actually a public service announcement: Never, ever dance with a bottle in your hand.
9. Electronic Data Systems: "Herding Cats" (2000)
Rough and tumble cowboys tell stories of riding herd on the plains. They don't herd cattle, though, they herd cats, hundreds and hundreds of them. They drive the furballs across streams, rescue them from trees, and rein them in when they stampede. One catpoke rolls a ball of yarn, another shows off his scratches, a third takes a lint brush to his coat. A voiceover at the end says that managing data in the everchanging world of information technology is like trying to herd cats. EDS claims they're experienced wranglers.
Great use of computer imaging, fun spoof of Marlboro Man-style macho. The ad everybody talked about the next day.
10. Master Lock: "Marksman" (1974)
A goggle-eyed sharpshooter takes aim at a padlock hanging in the center of a target and blasts a bullet right through it. The lock absorbs the blow and holds fast. Better, more simple brand building you'll never see. The ad runs, with only slight variation, during the next 21 Super Bowls -- the lock never breaks.
The ad was so convincing it made you want to put locks on everything in the house.
Note: The 1979 Mean Joe Green Coke commercial, which everyone agrees is a classic, did not actually debut during the Super Bowl. If it had, it would be pushing the Macintosh ad for the top spot on our list. Since it didn't, we'll have to settle for this excuse to remember the ad and get choked up all over again.

Also receiving votes
Budweiser: "Dalmatians" (1999) -- Two Dalmatians haven't seen each other since they were born in the same litter two years ago. They are reunited. Nike: "Hare Jordan" (1992) -- The animated icon and celebrity icon unite on the court. Budweiser: "Clydesdales Play Ball" (1996) -- A snowy game of pick-up football between two teams of horses. Pepsi: "Dancing Bears" (1997) -- Grizzly bears dance to a version of the Village People's "YMCA." The commercial was inspired by the Yankees' groundscrew, which did a routine to the song during home games. Pepsi: "Sucked In" (1995) -- A small boy pulls too hard on his straw and gets sucked into his bottle of Pepsi. Budweiser: "Rex's Bad Day" (2000) -- Rex the dog is on a movie set where he produces the required yowl only by recalling his worst moment -- when he ran into the side of a van while chasing a Budweiser truck. Pepsi: "Security Camera" (1996) - A security camera detects a Coke deliveryman trying to steal a can of Pepsi. He spills cans all over the floor. Mountain Dew: "Bohemian Rhapsody" (2000) -- The Dew's extreme adventurers cover Queen's hit song.

Learning Experiences

"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid." --P. J. O'Rourke

Funnyman Steve Martin hosts SNL the most

When Steve Martin Hosts Saturday Night Live with musical guest Prince, it will be the 14th time he has hosted. That is the are the one who have hosted at least five times according to wikipedia.
Steve Martin (14 as of febuary 4, 2006)
John Goodman (12, including once a season for 11 straight seasons.)
Alec Baldwin (12)
Buck Henry(10, twice a season for each of the first five seasons)
Chevy Chase (9)
Tom Hanks (7)
Danny Devito(6)
Elliot Gould (who correctly predicted before we won the gold medal in hocky from the russians "we are going to kick the russians a**" (6)
Candic Bergen (5)
Bill Murray (5)
I heard the song ...guitar heavy ... in the new Nike Ad but could not remember the name of the song...a search brought me to this site where I found out that it wasn't Van Halen as I had thought it might be, but rather AC-DC and "Rock And Roll Aint Noise Pollution." The site was pretty cool for music that is in advertising.

Redeck Valentines Day

Valentines, Redneck Style
Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.

And speakin' of wits, you've got plenty fer shore.
'Cuz you married me back in '74.

Still them fellers at work they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and stick 'em in the can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no far ant upon which I oft' tread.

Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old like a '57 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart; It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day,
From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these will not do.
For you are too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odour,
Better than diamonds, it's a new trollin' motor.

American Idol non-faves

Who are are your Top 10 Favorite Idol contestants?
1.William hung
2 Rhonetta
3-Statue of Liberty Guy
5-I Shott the Sherriff Guy
6-The Hulks Wife
8-The Hawaiian Girl who should have made it from San Francisco
9-The "are you a girl" Guy
10-The "Learned to Sing from Paul Abdul Video" Guy

Best Christmas Movie For Kids Ever

the polar express

Tom Hanks does it all in the Polar Express ! Make sure on the DVD you check out the extra features disc that shows you the AMAZING way things were done for this movie.

Leg Cramps In Children ?

according to

Night Leg CrampsDr.: My daughter is three year old and every other night or so she awakes with leg and/or foot cramps. Is this normal? What medication should I give her? if any
Thank You for your time.
Dear RC: Nighttime foot and leg cramps are fairly common in children. They occur as a result of spasm in muscles that have been used a lot during the day. The best thing to do is massage the cramp. If your daughter has daytime pains, pains that interfere with activity, or a limp then she needs further evaluation.
Make sure the covers are not tight over the foot of the bed as that makes it necessary for the child to stretch his foot out and may contribute to the development of cramps.